Ted Mosby Quotes (Page 4)
Barney: So he stays home all the time not getting laid? No, see, that's what you do when you HAVE a fianceé. He should be out here celebrating! He's free! He got that red-headed tumor removed.
Ted: You should write and illustrate children's books.
Ted: I'm crazy about you. I think we should be together. What do you say?
Robin: Yes. No. Maybe.
Ted: Those are the 3 options.
[Barney slaps Ted across the face]
Ted: Ow! What the hell?
Barney: That wasn't me, that was the universe.
Waitress: Be careful, the plate is very hot!
Ted: Oh go on, touch it.
Lily: Ahh. Sweet damn, that’s a hot plate!
Older Ted: Here's the thing about mistakes. Sometimes, even when you know something's a mistake, you gotta make it anyway.
• Vote for this Quote! • March 30th, 2007 Robin: Okay, I've missed you. Not in a "we're gonna make out" way, not even in an "I forgive you" way. Just in an "I've missed you" way.
Ted: I'll take what I can get.
Marshall: It'll be cool. I'll tell you what, we'll make a game out of it. First one to stuff a hundred invitations gets a big prize.
Ted: Do I look like I'm four? [pause] All right, what kind of prize are we talkin' about?
Ted: Mary, I'm sorry. I can't do this.
Mary: What's wrong?
Ted: You're a prostitute.
Mary: No, I'm a paralegal.
Ted: No, you're a prostitute.
Mary: No, I'm a paralegal.
Ted: No, you're a prostitute.
Ted: I feel like Richard Gere.
Mary: You’re not shy about your looks, are you?
Barney: Good day! [leaving]
Ted: [as Barney stands there, Ted starts laughing] You’re just waiting for me to say something so you can interrupt.
Barney: [As he stomps out, screaming] I SAID GOOD DAY!
