Ted Mosby Quotes (Page 6)
Marshall: A drumroll? That's it? So, what, you just said good night, came home and... performed a drum solo?
Lily: Oh Ted, you're such a doof. I mean, this girl sounds amazing.
Ted: She was completely amazing. She was amazing, and funny, and we connected on every level, and I'm never gonna see her again.
[Marshall and Lily look at Ted in disbelief at what he's saying.]
Ted: Dammit, I have to see her again!!
Marshall and Lily: YES!
Marshall: So, let's get to work, man! What else do you know about her?
Ted: Nothing! Her name's Victoria; that's all I got...wait, Claudia. Claudia would know.
Lily: Claudia is on her honeymoon. She'll be back in two weeks; call her then.
Ted: Yes, two weeks, good idea... I'm calling her now.
Lily: No, Ted, you don't mess with the honeymoon.
Marshall: Yea, come on dude. [whispering] Ask her about the cake.
Lily: [about throwing the wedding bouquet] It's such an evil tradition.
Ted: You're not gonna do it at your wedding?
Lily: Hell, yeah! I'm gonna take that flower grenade and chuck it to the crowd and scream, "Crawl for it, bitches!" It's just what girls do.
Lily: Ohhh... what is wrong with you?
Marshall: Y-Dude, that is just, like, a weenie-ass idea.
Ted: No! It was awesome! I had a great night, I'm never going to see her again, and there's no way to ruin it.
Marshall: Ted, how do I explain this to you: last night I ate the best cake of my life. You think I'm gonna let that cake out of my life? Hell no! I'm gonna find out what bakery made that cake, and then I'm gonna get some more cake!
Ted: The cake really got to you, huh?
Marshall: ... It haunts me.
Victoria: Those big romantic moments... they're great when they happen, but they're not real.
Ted: Exactly. Exactly! Like, like just now, when I saw you doing the chicken dance out there--I'm not gonna lie to you--big time thunderbolt.
Victoria: Hmmm, you should see me tap-dance. You'd be down on bended knee.
Ted: Sadly not out of character.
Lily: [to Ted as he walks out of his bedroom] Hey, where the hell did you disappear to last night?
Ted: I had the most... amazing night ever.
Marshall: Tell me about it! That cake. Best cake I ever had. Seriously, my stomach was like "Hey bro, I don't know what you're eating cause I don't have any eyes but it's basically awesome so keep sending it down Gullet Alley."
Lily: Yeah, I know, my stomach was like "Girlfriend, we don't always get along but that cake..."
Ted: Yes, on Saturday, after a little wine and a little dancing...
Barney: Alright, they better be making a new gender, because I'm revoking your dude membership.
Lily: Ok, ok.... we'll sneak her in.
Ted: We can't sneak her in...we're not ninjas!
Lily: Uhhh... I wish we were ninjas!
Ted: Okay guys, I gotta say something, I think my feelings for Robin may be resurfacing.
Lily: Oh please, they were buried in a shallow grave.
Robin: How fancy are we talking about here?
Ted: Oh, you gonna wanna bring your A-game.
Robin: Oh, I'll bring it. I'll bring it so hard, the bride's gonna look like a big white bag of crap.
Ted: You're not... Moby, are you?
Not Moby: Who?
Ted: The recording artist, Moby.
Not Moby: Oh, no.
Ted: Then why, when we said "Hey, Moby" did you come over here?
Not Moby: Oh, I thought you said Tony.
Ted: So your name's Tony?
Not Moby: No.
