Ted Mosby Quotes (Page 8)
Lily: Why would Natalie hang up on you?
Ted: I don't know.
Barney: Did you sleep with her sister?
Ted: No.
Barney: Did you sleep with her mom?
Ted: No.
Barney: I'm losing interest in your story.
Ted's Date: Back When I lived in LA I was pretty broke, so I spent a month making adult films.
Ted: Wow ... uh, ok. How many did you make?
Ted's Date: 175.
Lily: Say what you want about the porn industry, but they're hard workers.
Ted: My friend does this thing where he goes to the airport and leaves fake luggage in order to meet women.
Airport Security Guard: No one is that lame.
Ted: He is. He is that lame. Barney, tell them you're that lame.
Barney: You're in a rut.
Ted: I'm not in a rut. I have a routine.
Barney: Ted, what is the first syllable in rut-tine?
Barney: Ted, tonight we're gonna go out, we're gonne meet some ladies, it's gonna be legendary. Phone-five!
[Barney does a high five with his cellphone.]
Ted's Voiceover: I had no idea why I hung out with Barney.
Barney: You didn't Phone-five, did you? I know when you don't Phone-five Ted!
Ted: [to Barney] Don't say "legendary." You're too liberal with the word "legendary."
[Flashback]
Barney: We're building an igloo in Central Park. It's going to be legendary! Snowsuit up!
Ted: You know it's so funny I got in you we are having a party next Friday if you'll like to swing by, but, you know, whatever.
Robin: Oh, I'm going back home next weekand. Too bad it's not tonight.
Ted:It is, it's tonight. This Friday. Did I say next Friday? Sorry, 'cause I've been saying next Friday all week. But yeah it's tonight the party is tonight. But, you know, whatever.
Robin: [seeing Ted in a store] Ted!
Ted: Robin, wow! What are the odds!
Robin: What are you doing here?
Ted: Oh, you know, Just shoping, for a... [searching] dip. I love dip. You know I love dip I like dip. As a friend.
Ted: [talks about Robin] She wants casual... Okay, I'll be casual. I'm gonna be a mushroom cloud of casual. You know why? 'cause it's a game. I wanna to skip to the end and to the whole happily ever after thing. But you don't get there, unless you play the game.
Marshall: So you gonna ask her out?
Ted: yes. NO! I cant ask her out because if I ask her out I'm ASKING HER OUT. So how do I ask her out, without asking her out?
Lily: Did you guys get high?
Barney: This so lame.
Ted: Lame ... or casual?
Barney: Lame.
Ted: ... or casual?
