Tom Scavo Quotes (Page 2)
Lynette: "I said I wanted Penny."
Tom: "Oh, Lynette."
Lynette: "Eight hours of grueling labor."
Tom: "It's not fair. "
Lynette: "Neither are stretch marks, but what are you gonna do?"
Tom: "I've only known one Penny in my whole life, and she was a slut."
Lynette: "Isn't your aunt named Penny?"
Tom: "Yeah, that's her."
Lynette: "Let's suppose your husband begged you to get pregnant, begged you, and out of the goodness of your heart, you agreed. You agreed to a baby. A baby, singular."
Tom: "Lynette, we've just met these people."
Lynette: "Then, then you go in for an ultrasound, and you hear two heartbeats. Then, and only then, does your husband tell you twins run in his family."
Tom: "I didn't think it was that big a deal!"
Lynette: "Your family had eight sets of twins over three generations, not to mention relatives in Kentucky with triplets! Triplets! So I ask you, do I not deserve to punish this man severely?"
Susan: "Well, actually, I think that twins are genetically determined by the mother."
Lynette: "What are you, a scientist?"
Susan: "No. No, I write children's books."
Lynette: "You’re under contract. Ed can't fire you unless he has just cause. So until this blows over, you have to be a model employee. Show up on time, no more three martini lunches, and above all, have ready all of your presentations."
Tom: "I can’t believe I’m being victimized like this."
Lynette: "Well, honey, in all fairness, those are all things you should be doing anyway."
Lynette: "Honey, you’ve been working so hard. Off on business trips all the time. Tonight we throw caution and cholestrol to the wind. You deserve a little comfort food."
Tom: "Oh, no, you’re pregnant?"
Lynette: "God! Your mind goes to dark places."
Tom: "We have to be at work in one hour. There's no day care on the weekends, so if you cut McCluskey loose, we're stuck!"
Lynette: "We will find someone ... someone who doesn't remember what they were doing the day Lincoln was shot."
Parker: "So, who won the fight?"
Tom: "We weren't fighting, Mommy's just letting daddy know where he stands."
Lynette: "Hey, I got great news. We just landed the Black’s Frozen Yogurt account."
Tom: "Really! They loved the pitch?"
Lynette: "The talking cows rocked their world."
Tom: "Hey, how did they like my prison Bull Clinton idea?"
Lynette: "It is not the Ebola Virus, it’s chicken pox. You are being a baby."
Tom: "Yes, I am.
Lynette: "Okay."
Tom: "And if you think I’m being a baby now, do I need to remind you of what I’m like when I’m sick? Remember that time I had strep throat? We wound up in marriage counseling."
Lynette: "I’ll call the office."
Tom: "I'm telling you, these women want me."
Lynette: "Oh, yeah."
Tom: "They see the rippling muscles underneath this t-shirt..."
Lynette: "Good night, Tom."
Tom: "They cannot resist me."
Lynette: "Shut up and go to sleep."
Gabrielle: "Uh, I think she got sick."
Tom: "Oh, I'm so sorry. Usually, she only throws upon immediate family."
Gabrielle: "I'm honored."
