Tracy Jordan Quotes (Page 2)
Tracy: [as Thomas Jefferson, finishing the Declaration of Independence] Eat that, King George!
• Rating 3.7 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 13th, 2007 Frank: Yo Tray, we got a problem.
Tracy: [as Jefferson] Pray who be this Tracy Jordan thou speakest of?
Frank: Uh, President Jefferson, we got a problem.
Tracy: Speakest!
Frank: That horse ate your wig.
Tracy: Well, stand guard by his rump and await it in his droppings!
Lutz: Or we could probably just go get a new wig?
Tracy: A-ha! I like you, young man; you shall run my university.
Tracy: Doctor Spaceman, when they check my DNA, will they tell me what diseases I might get, or help me to remember my ATM pin code?
Dr. Spaceman: Absolutely. Science is whatever we want it to be. I'll let you know as soon as we have the results.
Tracy: I already know the results, the kid is not mine!
Dr. Spaceman: Boy, it's crazy to think we used to settle questions of paternity by dunking a woman in water until she admitted she made it all up. Different time, the '60s.
Tracy: Who else is going to be at that party?
Jack: Well, you're going to be sharing the stage with NAS...
Tracy: Nope, he hates me! We used to date the same girl.
Jack: What about Young Jeezy?
Tracy: Forget about it. I called his pit bull gay on 106th and Park.
Liz: That would do it.
Jack: The Game?
Tracy: Nope.
Jack: T.I.?
Tracy: It not happenin.
Jack: Super head?
Tracy: No can do.
Jack: Fabulus?
Tracy: Wont do.
Jack: Redonkeykong?
Tracy: Nope.
Jack: MC Skat Kat?
Tracy: What?
Jack: HoMONKulus?
Tracy: Uh-uh.
Jack: Raw Dog?
Tracy: Hell no! Me an his beef go way back. We were both on cast members on Nickelodeon show called "Ray-Ray's Garage."
Tracy: I'm just going through the classic stages of grief; fear, denial, horniness, wisdom, sleepiness and now depression.
Kenneth: What about anger?
Tracy: No! I don't wanna do anger and you can't make me!
Tracy: Death sentence number two. Shooting people at the source awards is a tradition. It's like Christmas or like shooting outside of HOT 97.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 13th, 2007Tracy: If you get rich off this stuff just take care of my family. I don't want my kids to have to go to college.
• Rating 4.8 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 13th, 2007Tracy: Remember that e-mail we got from those Nigerians who need our help getting that money out of Africa? We did it! I got the check today.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 13th, 2007Tracy: Television on! Pornography!
• Rating 3.4 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 13th, 2007 Tracy: I love this cornbread so much, I want to take it behind a middle school, and get it pregnant.
Kenneth: (whimsically) Pregnant cornbread...