Turtle Quotes
Turtle: I thought he quit?
Johnny Drama: Cigarettes, not p***y.
Turtle: This is where you should be living, Vince. In a kingdom, like a prince.
Eric: Don't you mean in a kingdom like a king, you idiot?
Vince: Nah, E. Everyone wants to kill the king. But the prince, he just sails along telling all the ladies, "One day I'm gonna be king."
Vince: Johnny Depp's got the kinda career I want.
Eric: Johhny Depp did "Pirates of the Caribbean". And if I'm not mistaken, he wore a swashbuckling costume and carried a sword.
Turtle: Yeah, but he already dresses like that in real life, though.
Shauna: It's like prom; you get your date a corsage and she gives you a hand job.
Turtle: Who the f**k wants a hand job?
Turtle: Come on E, you know friends are just girls you haven't f**ked yet.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 20th, 2007 Sierra: What do you mean you were on Kimmel? Is that like 'X'?
Turtle: No, it's a TV show.
Porsche: Do you have any X?
Turtle: We saw Kristin in the middle of 40 Deuce with her hands down Vince Vaughn's pants.
Eric: She had her hands down his pants?
Johnny Drama: Yeah, both of 'em.
Eric: Vince Vaughn? That puffy motherf**ker?
Johnny Drama: Nah, bro, he didn't look puffy at all... He was lookin' reeeeal good.
Turtle: Yeah, it was kinda like "Swingers" Vince Vaughn, not Old School Vince Vaughn... it's kinda like Neeewww Schoool Vince Vaughn.
Johnny Drama: If you play gay or retarded you get an Oscar. I'd take it in the ass for an Oscar.
Turtle: You'd take in the ass for a guest spot on The Hughleys.
Eric: Could you get laid without Vince? That's the question.
Turtle: Do I give a f**k, that's the answer.
[the guys are talking about their "first time"]
Turtle: Sure, E... you had to beg for p***y on prom night.
Eric: Yeah, but I begged my GIRLFRIEND, Turtle... not some $40 hooker who declined my mother's credit card.
