Waylon Smithers Quotes
Homer: I'm so bored that I have figured out where the wallpaper pattern repeats. See it goes ships wheel, Popeye tattoo, Gilligan hat, fish with boobs and back to ships wheel.
Lisa: What about this swordfish?
Homer: Oh my life's work ruined!
Smithers: (after Mr. Burns emerges from a basket) Why did you make an entrance like that, sir?
Mr. Burns: I'm a showman!
Bart: So, Mr. Burns, you're saying my dad has gone insane, and thinks he's a god, and broken off all contact with the outside world?
Smithers: I told you Simpson was a poor choice, sir.
Mr. Burns: You know, Smithers, "I told you so" has a brother. His name is, "Shut the hell up"!
Smithers: Why don't you just use your ATM card?
Burns: Ah, yes. The Automated Teller Machineyolamatrolamaton.
Burns in a plane over the Caribbean: Any of these islands would make a fine new country.
Homer: I call president!
Burns: Vice president!
Smithers (disappointedly): Oooh...
Burns: Ooh... There's a big one, and it has freedom written all over it!
Smithers: Sir, that's Cuba.
Mr. Burns: Cuba, eh? Take her down, Smithers!
Smithers: Uh... You're flying the plane, sir.
Mr. Burns: Excellent.
Mr. Burns: You see me as a god, right, Smithers?
Smithers: Absolutely, sir.
Mr. Burns: You'd kneel before me?
Smithers: Boy, would I!
Mr. Burns: Yes. Uh, then I'll form my own religion with its own symbol. We'll use this special K. [refers to the breakfast cereal of the same name; the K he draws is a replica of the logo on the cereal box]
Smithers: I believe that's already a breakfast cereal, sir.
Mr. Burns: And people worship it?
Smithers: In a way.
Lisa: [referring to the "angel"] It could be anything. It could be a mutant from the nuclear plant.
Mr. Burns: Oh, fiddle-faddle. Everyone knows our mutants have flippers. Ooh, oops. I've said too much. [clears throat]
[under his breath] Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
Smithers: You mean the revolver, sir?
Mr. Burns: Precisely. Be sure to wipe your own memory clear when you're finished.
Smithers: [announcer for gymnastics] Now, that's the end of the girls' floor exercise... now, let's bring on the men!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 25th, 2007 Mr. Burns: (checking his stocks) Ah, right where I left off September, 1929 ... oh... oh no... Smithers, why didn't you tell me about this market crash?!
Smithers: Um, well...sir, it happened twenty-five years before I was born.
Mr. Burns: Oh, that's your excuse for everything!
Smithers: John...
John: Oh, Waylon. I’d like you to meet the Simpsons.
Smithers: I know the Simpsons. [flatly] So this is your "sick mother?"
John: Don’t do this to me, Waylon...