Waylon Smithers Quotes (Page 3)
[The plant melting down, Mr. Burns gets into escape pod and shuts Smithers out.]
Smithers: For the love of God, sir, there are two seats!
Burns: I like to put my feet up.
Mr Burns: Look, Smithers! Garbo is coming!
Smithers: Uh... Yes, sir.
Mr. Burns: Simpson, eh! New man?
Smithers: He thwarted your campaign for governor; you ran over his son; he saved the plant from meltdown; his wife painted you in the nude...
Mr. Burns: Doesn't ring a bell...
Mr. Burns: Where is that union representative, Smithers? He's twenty minutes late!
Smithers: I don't know, sir. He hasn't been seen since he promised to clean up the union.
[A football player is seen running down a field, then trips over what is obviously a body buried under the field.]
Football player: What the hell?
Burns: I dreamed about her again last night, Smithers. You know that dream where you're in bed and they fly in through the window?
Smithers: Mmmmm... [has the exact vision, with Mr. Burns flying straight through his window onto his bed.] You've been reading my wishbook, sir.
Marge: So what do I do?
Smithers: Mrs. Simpson, according to your résumé, you invented this machine.
Smithers: This résumé is very impressive. Let me be the first to say Abibu gazini.
Marge: What?
Smithers: "Welcome aboard." I guess my Swahili's not as good as yours.
Smithers: I prepared a special musical number for Jack's special night.
Smithers: There is a man
Chorus: There is a man!
Smithers: A certain man
Chorus: A certain man!
Smithers: A man whose grace and handsome face are known across the land. You know his name
Chorus: You know his name!
Smithers: It's Mr. Burns
Chorus: It's Mr. Burns!
Smithers: He loves a smoke, enjoys a joke
Burns & Chorus: Ah ha ha ha!
Smithers: Why he's worth ten times what he earns.
Chorus: He's Mr. Burns!
Burns: I'm Mr. Burns!
Smithers: He's Monty Burns!
Burns: I'm Mr. Burns!
Smithers & Chorus: To friends he's known as Monty but to you it's Mr. Burns!
Smithers: Bur-bur-bur-bur-Burns.
Burns: Burns!
Mr. Burns: [about bringing Marge along on their voyage] What do you think, Smithers?
Smithers: I think women and sea men don't mix, sir.
Mr. Burns: We all know what you think.
Smithers: People like dogs, Mr. Burns.
Burns: Nonsense! Dogs are idiots. Think about it, Smithers: if I came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over your face, what would you say?
Smithers: [pause] If you did it, Sir?