Michael: Hey, hey, hey!
Oscar: Michael, are you having money problems?
Michael: Monkey problem? No, I'm not having monkey problems. Why would I have monkey problems?
Oscar: You heard me correctly.
Michael: I hate monkeys.
Pam: What's going on, why do you have a second job?
Michael: I don't have a second job. Maybe I'm having an affair with Suzanne Sommers.
Pam: Doesn't Jan have money?
Michael: I don't talk to my girlfriend about money. It is rude and unsexual.
Kevin: True, it's best to hide our money problems from women.
Michael: I totally agree with you. But I don't have money problems, I don't. Alright, you know what? Watch this, if I had money problems, would I do this? [Michael takes out a dollar bill, crumples it up and puts it back in his pocket]
Stanley: You just put it back in your pocket.
Michael: Yeah, but I destroyed it. It's not even useable anymore.

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Show: The Office

Episode: Money

Characters: Michael Scott, Pam Beesly

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