Eric: Hey Kelso, quick question. Why can't you date someone a little less annoying?
Kelso: Like who?
Eric: Like Barbara Vansen.
Kelso: Eh, she's just as annoying.
Hyde: Yeah, but her boobs are huge!
Kelso: So?
Hyde: (showing his Playboy magazine to Eric & Kelso) Do you find that annoying?
Kelso: Pam Macy! Now she's got some knockers, baby!
Hyde: True, but they're not bigger than Barbara's.
Kelso: Yeah, they are.
Eric: You're dreaming. It's like comparing (Red walks in) Exodus and Deuteronomy, both of which have taught us very valuable lessons! Oh, hi Dad!
Red: Damn dryer's broken! Aw, I need my vicegrips... (exits)
Kelso: Have you seen Pam in a tube top? It's like you're lookin' at the Grand Tetons! In a tube top!
Hyde: Alright, look. The issue isn't if Pam's big. It's, "are they bigger than Barbara's?" Because Barbara's are bigger than... (Kitty comes in from upstairs) The Walls of Jericho, which as we all know came tumbling down, right?! (covering his Playboy) Hello, Mrs. Forman.
Kitty: Hi. Eric, did your father come down here?
Eric: Yeah, he was fixing the dryer.
Kitty: Oh, dear. You know, ever since the plant cut back his hours, he's been spending all his time fixing things! Things that don't need fixing! Things I need, things I use, things I love! I gotta go hide the crockpot! (runs back upstairs)
Hyde: Sounds like your dad is losing it.
Kelso: Jeez. He's like this now, he's gonna be a total headcase if they shut down the plant. He's just gonna be this pathetic guy (Red enters) WITH BREASTS THE SIZE OF WATERMELONS! (realizing his mistake) is what Moses said to the Egyptians!
Red: Kelso, go home.
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Show: That 70's Show
Episode: Battle of the Sexists
Characters: Eric Forman, Steven Hyde, Michael Kelso
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