Jack Meets Dennis Quotes
Jack: So, how did it go.
Liz: He moved in with me.
Jack: Well, of course he did.
Jack: Lemon, today is the first day of the rest of your life; and what is the first thing you need to do?
Liz: I have to break up with Dennis.
Jack: And if you don't break up with him now?
Liz: He'll just keep showing up at work to sell beepers; we'll just get more and more tangled up in each other's lifes 'till I can't even get away and we're just like... Oh, my God!
Jack: That's right! He's the Rat King. And there's only one way to break up with a rat, you have to cut him off completely
Liz: I know.
Jack: You have to stuff your heart with steel wool and tin foil. You must be ruthless, you must be absolute. Remember always you are the exterminator, say it!
Liz: I am the exterminator!
Jack: Say it like you mean it!
Liz: [louder] I am the exterminator!
Jack: Louder!
Liz: [shouts] I am the exterminator!
Jack: Okay, not that loud. People are trying to work around here.
Liz: Okay, very funny. You bought a pager from Dennis. Will you take it off now, please?
Jack: Oh, I can't. I'm expecting a call from 1983.
Jack: Gosh, I hope you got a picture of that with a camera on your beeper.
Dennis: Actually, my beeper doesn't have a camera; but it does have a pedometer. Actually, not this one.
Jack: You enjoy that restaurant?
Dennis: No, I think I was right about that place. We saw a whole nest of rats when we were leaving.
Liz: No, we didn't.
Dennis: I didn't tell you because I knew you'd freak out. [pause] Actually, I think I saw a rat king.
Cerie: What's a rat king?
Frank: Oh, it's when a buncha rats are crammed into a tiny space and their tails get all tangled up; and they can't even pull apart.
Dennis: And it gets awesome. Eventually, their bodies fuse together and they form a multi-headed live rat king and we saw one.
Dennis: Dennis Duffy, Beeper King.
Jack: That's a sharp tie you've got there Dennis.
Dennis: That douchebag up front made me wear it.
Jack: Does he know you're the Beeper King?
Dennis: I don't think so.
Liz: This is clearly the nicest restaurant we've ever been to.
Dennis: Hold on a second, this place ain't that nice, alright. It's got rats and roaches like every other restaurant.
Liz: No rat talk tonight, okay.
Liz: [to Cerie] So, these page numbers, when done correctly, should be sequential.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 11th, 2007 Jenna: You're back with Dennis?
Liz: I'm back with Dennis.
[Jenna gives Liz dirty look]
Liz: Don't look at me with your eyebrows all up, it's so annoying.
Jenna: Oh, yes, I'm annoying. Not the man who honked your boobs on the Jumbo Screen.
Liz: That was before, and it was the playoffs.
