Jack the Writer Quotes
Pete: Oh my god! Wha... [writers start laughing] what are you wearing?!
Frank: You're making me gay.
Liz: It's a joke, obviously. I'm wearing this as a joke. Bunch of comedy writers don't know a joke, jeez. [goes to her office]
Frank: I just threw up in my mouth.
Liz: [comes out of her office] I said it's a joke!
Liz: Um, yeah, okay. What I'm saying is you need to wear a bra to work if you wanna be taken seriously in this business.
Cerie: Oh, but I don't actually wanna work in television. Career-wise, I'm just gonna marry rich and design handbags.
Liz: Here's the thing. The way you dress is making some people around the office... uncomfortable.
Cerie: Really? Who?
Liz: Okay, this is gonna sound really weird. But, um, you need to wear a bra.
Cerie: Oh, no. I... I don't actually. They kinda just stay up on their own.
Liz: That's it. I gotta talk to her about her clothes, she can't dress like that.
Pete: Well, yes, she can! People like the way she dresses!
Liz: Oh, c'mon. It's distracting, it's inappropriate.
Pete: You're inappropriate, you jerk, with your big stupid face!
Pete: So, is Donaghy gonna be in the room again today?
Liz: Ugh. Probably, yeah.
Pete: Well, you have to say something to him. You guys aren't getting any work done.
Liz: Really? You don't think his idea of starting with the catchphrases and working backwards is panning out?
Jack: So, I was doing some research on comedy and I came across the cartoon strip Dilbert. It's quite good. And I was wondering if we could do that.
Liz: Do what?
Jack: Dilbert.
Jack: [to writers] Are you familiar with Six Sigma?
Frank: Oh, yeah. It's a special kinda G.I. Joe.
Jack: It's Frank, right?
Frank: Yes, sir.
Jack: Six Sigma says that a manager must understand every aspect of the business that he or she oversees.
Liz: Which means?
Jack: I'll be here everyday. Soaking it up.
Tracy Jordan: But I want you to know something... You and me, it's not gonna be a one-way street. 'Cause I don't believe in one-way streets. Not between people, and not while I'm driving.
Kenneth: Oh, Okay.
Tracy: So, here's some advice I wish I woulda got when I was your age: Live every week like it's Shark Week
Liz: I think we need to change this Donald Trump joke.
[All the writers are looking at Cerie, not listening]
Liz: ... because Donald Trump was eaten by a lion this morning... on the International Space Station. Anyone listening?