Pilot Quotes
Tracy: You know how pissed off I was when US Weekly said that I was on crack? That's racist! I'm not on crack. I'm straight-up mentally ill!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 11th, 2007 Jack: Alfredo 2pm.
Liz: I'm not dressed for that.
Jack: You're dressed for Burger King. Should we make it Burger King?
Jack: Are you familiar with the GE tri-vection oven?
Liz: I don't cook very much.
Jack: Sure... I gotcha. New York, third-wave feminist, college-educated, single and pretending to be happy about it, over-scheduled, undersexed, you buy any magazine that says 'healthy body image' on the cover, and every two years you take up knitting for ... a week.
Pete: That is dead on!
Liz: What, are you going to guess my weight now?
Jack: You don't want me to do that.
Liz: [gives money to stripper] This is for computer classes.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 11th, 2007 Liz: I'm not like these girls, Tracy. I don't have sex for money!
Stripper: Neither do we!
Tracy: Neither do they!
Tracy: [mouthing silently] Yes they do!
Tracy: Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets.
• Rating 4.8 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 11th, 2007Jack: [to Liz] I like you. You have the boldness of a much younger woman.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 11th, 2007 Liz: Where's Gary?
Jack: Gary's dead. I'm Jack Donaghy. New VP of development for NBC/GE/Universal/Kmart.
Pete: Oh, we own Kmart now?
Jack: No. So why are you dressed like we do?
Liz: Whoa, excuse me, there's a line, buddy.
Man: There's two lines.
Liz: No. No, there's one line; we're in it.
Man: I'm just getting a hot dog.
Liz: We're all getting hot dogs! What, you think there's two lines and we're all in this line? You're the only genius who got in the other line? Can you believe this guy?