Altar Egos Quotes
Gob: Michael, you can save this family. Please, do the right thing here. String this blind girl along so that Dad doesn't have to pay his debt to society.
Barry Zuckerkorn: The solution to all our problems is staring you right in the face, and it can't even see you.
Narrator: That morning, however, she had some startling news for him.
Cindi: I'm a mole.
George Sr.: Well, you know, God - God doesn't care how big your teeth are. Yes, you could go to a dentist and you could, woo - you could grind off about - I don't know - 30 percent. Maybe more. Yeah, I wouldn't miss it.
Michael: I actually had a pretty interesting night myself.
Gob: Really? What'd you do, read the plea?
Michael: No. Actually, I went home with someone.
Gob: What's wrong with her?
Michael: There's nothing wrong with her... She is blind.
Michael: Boy, the lengths you'll go to sleep with a woman.
Gob: Believe me, we didn't do any sleeping. I had sex last night.
Narrator: But he really didn't.
Gob: Yes, I did.
Gob: You should'a stayed with me last night. You could've seen me get some major action. From a major blonde. Who just majored in marine biology, if you know what I mean.
Michael: I don't know what you mean. I can't imagine what that means.
Michael: [re: Maggie] I certainly can't take advantage of her now, knowing what I know.
Gob: What? No, Michael, you can! Don't you ... You just won the gold medal at the sexual Special Olympics. She can't ever find you again. Don't you see that you're so lucky? God, how do you not ... ?
Lindsay: I'll tell you what. I'll take you down to see Nana if you split the money with me 60-40.
Maeby: 55-55.
Lindsay: Deal.
Michael: Sounds like you guys are getting more than you think.
Lindsay: We should go now before your Dad gets back. No need going halfsies with him, too.
George Sr.: Hi ... this is not what it looks like ...
Lucille: It looks like you're tweaking her nipples through a chain-link fence.
George Sr.: Yep ... yeah, that's it.
