Switch Hitter Quotes (Page 2)
Michael: Sorry that my son couldn’t be here.
Stan Sitwell: Let me guess. Girlfriend. You know, it could be worse. He could want to marry your mother. (Only Stan laughs) Oh, I’m sorry. Is your family not laughing at that yet?
Lucille: Get me a vodka rocks.
Michael: Mom, it’s breakfast.
Lucille: And a piece of toast.
Lucille: Modest and generous? Then why is he always waving giant $10 million checks over his head every time some...?
Michael: Go ahead, Mom, finish the thought. Every time some children’s hospital needs funding?
Lucille: Nonetheless. We could get a giant checkbook, too. We’re just not that starved for attention.
Michael: Where's Sitwell?
Gob: Sorry, I told him to screw off. But get this, he offered me a job!
Michael: What?
Tobias: Besides, don't you have school?
Maeby: No, um, today is Help-Your-Dad-Follow-His-Dream Day.
