Like It Was Quotes
Bree: "I am so tired of feeling like the worst mother who ever lived."
Andrew: "You're not. There's Grandma."
Vera: "I owe you an apology because I've been sitting on a little secret about your family."
Bree: "Oh?"
Vera: "Actually, it's not much of a secret. My daughter tells me it's common knowledge among the cheerleaders."
Bree: "What is?"
Vera: "The fact that Danielle is sleeping with her history teacher. But where are my manners? I should have brought some biscuits with that."
Gabrielle: "You peed in my shampoo. Admit it!"
Carlos: "What?"
Gabrielle: "Yeah, the cap was loose, and I know how your sick mind works."
Carlos: "Oh, really? Well, in that case, you should know that if I was gonna do something like that, I wouldn't do it to your shampoo. I would do it to your mouthwash, soup, and decaf coffee."
Lynette: "So if Tom was cheating, you wouldn't tell me?"
Gabrielle: "No! But I would hire someone to beat the crap out of him."
Lynette: "Aww, you're sweet."
Bree: "Okay, that's what I was thinking. I mean, that's how Bunny Connors got Chlamydia."
Gabrielle: "She told me she got it from wearing someone else's bathing suit."
Lynette:: "No, that's how she got crabs."
Gabrielle: Poor Bunny. It's always something. If it's not the clap, it's a botched face-lift."
Bree: "How does this Dr. Keck fit into all of this? I mean, is he treating Andrew for some awful disease?"
Orson: "Actually, I think he was one of Andrew's clients."
Bree: "Howard Keck? Oh, that's ridiculous. He's got a wife and a daughter. He plays on Tom Scavo's bowling team."
Orson: "Well, that's clearly not the only team he plays for."
Parker: "You threw it too fast. Throw slower."
Lynette: "If I threw any slower, we would be bowling."
Parker: "But, mom, I suck! Everybody says so. That's why they made up a fake position for me."
Lynette: "It is not fake. There is not a team I know that could get along without their backup far right fielder."
Carlos: "Gaby, I'm trying to be civil, but if you don't knock it off right now, I swear, the gloves are coming off."
Gabrielle: "Oh, honey, the gloves aren't just off. They're 70 percent off! Get your cashmere gloves!"
Bree: "This is a family event, and we're all gonna enjoy it together. Now, Danielle, stop sniping and start thinking of an alibi for your brother."
Danielle: "I know. We could say he joined a cult and we had to kidnap and deprogram him."
Bree: "Well, that would certainly spare the family some embarrassment. Why not throw in a killing spree, too?"
