Pilot Quotes
Julie: "Stop being so nervous, you're just asking him out to dinner. It's no big deal."
Susan: "You're right. So, is that your project for school? You know in 5th grade I made the white house out of sugar cubes."
Julie: "Stop stalling and go. Before Mike figures out he can do better."
Susan: "Tell me again why I fought for custody of you?"
Julie: "You were using me to hurt dad."
Susan: "Oh, that's right."
Susan: "How would you feel if I used your child support payments for plastic surgery?"
Julie: "You look fine."
Susan: "If you could cut back to two meals a day I could get a chemical peel."
Danielle: "Why can't we ever have normal soup?"
Bree: "Danielle, there is nothing abnormal about basil puree."
Susan: "Oh, I wouldn't eat that if I were you."
Mike: "Why?"
Susan: "I made it, trust me. Hey, hey, do you have a death wish?"
Mike: "No, I just refuse to believe that anybody can screw up macaroni and cheese.... Oh my God. How did you... it tastes like it's burnt and undercooked!"
Susan: "Yeah, I get that a lot. Here you go."
Susan: "I just don't know how I'm going to survive this."
Mary Alice: "Listen to me. We all have moments of desperation. But if we face them head on, that's when we find out just how strong we really are."
Rex: "Since when do you make mistakes?"
Bree: "What's that supposed to mean?"
Rex: "It means that I'm sick of you being so damn perfect all the time. You're this plastic suburban housewife with her pearls and her spatula who says things like 'We owe the Hendersons a dinner.'"
Rex: "I hate the bizarre way your hair doesn't move!"
• Vote for this Quote! • August 16th, 2007 Carlos: "At the Donahue party, everyone was talking mutual funds and you found a way to mention you slept with half of the Yankee outfielders."
Gabrielle: "I'm telling you, it came up in the context of the conversation."
Carlos: "It's business. Tanaka expects everyone to bring their wives."
Gabrielle: "Every time I'm around that man, he tries to grab my ass."
Carlos: "I made over $200,000 with him last week. If he wants to grab your ass, you let him."
Andrew: "I'm saying, do you always have to serve cuisine? Can't we just have food?
Bree: "Are you doing drugs?"
Andrew: "What?"
Bree: "Change in behavior is one of the warning signs and you have been fresh as paint over the last six months. That would explain why you're always locked in the bathroom."
Danielle: "Trust me, that is not what he is doing."
Andrew: "Shut up."
