Desperate Housewives Quotes (Page 10)
Susan: "So, I've got everything ready to go: flowers, candles, Elvis Costello CD all cued up."
Gabrielle: "But who has the ring?"
Susan: "He does."
Gabrielle: "So, wait, you're gonna get down on one knee, pop the question, and while you're down there, dig in his pocket?
Lynette: "What if you pull out his key chain?"
Susan: "Then I'm gonna have to find a way to force it on my finger."
Lynette: "I said I wanted Penny."
Tom: "Oh, Lynette."
Lynette: "Eight hours of grueling labor."
Tom: "It's not fair. "
Lynette: "Neither are stretch marks, but what are you gonna do?"
Tom: "I've only known one Penny in my whole life, and she was a slut."
Lynette: "Isn't your aunt named Penny?"
Tom: "Yeah, that's her."
Gabrielle: "You were a virgin?"
John: "So, it didn't show?"
Gabrielle: "Uh, no. No, I mean, I guess it was, well, weird when you started naming the American presidents in order."
John: "Yeah, I wish you hadn't heard that. I was just trying to..."
Gabrielle: "No, no, you were good. Just, if it comes up in school, Paul Revere was never a president."
Lynette: "Let's suppose your husband begged you to get pregnant, begged you, and out of the goodness of your heart, you agreed. You agreed to a baby. A baby, singular."
Tom: "Lynette, we've just met these people."
Lynette: "Then, then you go in for an ultrasound, and you hear two heartbeats. Then, and only then, does your husband tell you twins run in his family."
Tom: "I didn't think it was that big a deal!"
Lynette: "Your family had eight sets of twins over three generations, not to mention relatives in Kentucky with triplets! Triplets! So I ask you, do I not deserve to punish this man severely?"
Susan: "Well, actually, I think that twins are genetically determined by the mother."
Lynette: "What are you, a scientist?"
Susan: "No. No, I write children's books."
Susan: "So I can't believe you caught me spraying for ants. I must look like a wreck."
Mike: "Actually, you look kinda sexy."
Susan: "You've gotta be kidding."
Mike: "No, the way you're taking charge, it's impressive."
Susan: "They're just ants, and they're tiny. Of course, they do outnumber me."
Bree: "This is my husband, Rex."
Rex: "Hi. We're not weird. We just seem like we are."
Bree: "Hello. I'm Bree Van de Kamp, your new neighbor. Is this your frog?"
Mary Alice: "Yes. Why?"
Bree: "Well, it seems that my son stole it from your yard."
Mary Alice: "Oh, well, I don't mind. If he likes it so much, he's welcome to keep it."
Bree: "Well, don't tell him that. If he doesn't feel guilty he'll never learn shame."
Julie: "So, is there anything you should prepare me for?"
Susan: "No, no. It's all good. Oh, but you should know that your bed doubles as the dining table, and the toilet's in the shower."
Susan: "Oh help! Can anybody hear me? Julie? I need you to try to unlock the door. Oh, what am I saying, she's two. Okay, I need you to unbuckle yourself and try to find a neighbor. But don’t cross the street! Just tell the neighbor that your mommy’s stuck in a big truck!"
• Vote for this Quote! • August 21st, 2007Mary Alice: "Everyone must choose the road they will take in life. And for a special few, that road would lead to Wisteria Lane. They all arrived the exact same way. Driving up in their overloaded trucks, bringing with them their expensive antiques and ordinary dreams. I remember the first moment I saw each of them. I met Susan Mayer the day she moved to Wisteria Lane. She seems so delightfully confident, I couldn’t help but feel intimidated. That feeling quickly passed."
• Vote for this Quote! • August 21st, 2007
