Desperate Housewives Quotes (Page 14)
Susan: "I was married to Karl, and I used to try to surprise him, and he would always, always, always say 'No, Susan. Don't surprise me. I don't like it.'"
Edie: "Whatever. I'm doing it, so keep your trap shut. Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go and buy a wedding dress. Oh, and by the way, I'll be wearing white, so that'll be a surprise for everybody."
Donna: "You should also know, I'm not a lesbian."
Bree: "Oh! Well, good for you."
Donna: "Well, see, if I was, the program wouldn't let me be your sponsor. Not great for your recovery if we get tangled up in a little something. So, um, whatever vibe you might be getting, that's all on you."
Edie: "Serving bowls. Just what I needed, Lynette."
Lynette: "There's a gift receipt taped to the bottom of the box."
Edie: "Oh. Thank god!"
Gabrielle: "He's gonna light himself on fire with coffee liqueur?"
Carlos: "Would not have been my choice."
Mary Alice: "Temptation comes to all of us. Whether or not we succumb depends on our ability to recognize its disguise. Sometimes it arrives in the form of an old flame, flickering back to life. Or a new friend who could end up being so much more. Or a young child who awakens feelings we didn't know we had. And so we give in to temptation, all the while knowing come morning, we'll have to suffer the consequences."
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • August 21st, 2007Veronica: "If that's not bad enough, now I'm gonna get fat again."
Lynette: "Huh?"
Veronica: "Breast-feeding was the only thing that kept the weight off. Every mealtime was like doing thirty minutes of cardio. Now I'm gonna have to join a gym!"
Lynette: "Wow, that is really a bummer."
Veronica: "It is. It really is."
Peter: "Your son threatened you with repressed memories? Oh, my god, he is seriously twisted. I gotta meet this kid."
Bree: "You sound like you're impressed."
Peter: "I sorta am. Sounds like you're definitely raising an alpha male."
Bree: "I'm raising a monster is what I'm raising. It's no wonder I drink."
Ed: "You're a woman. It's easier for you to talk to her about milk and boobs and stuff."
Lynette: "No! No, uh, please. Don't make me do it. Why don't you have Jerry tell her?"
Jerry: "I made a pass at her yesterday. It'd be weird."
Ed: "You could do it without offending her. Come on, Lynette. Take one for the team."
Lynette: "Okay, but for the record, the team is made up of wimps."
Ed: "Well, the team's aware of that and accepts your loathing."
Bree: "Well, I'm still appalled that you're helping my son with this ridiculous emancipation scheme, but you are a guest in my house and guests get sandwiches."
• Vote for this Quote! • August 21st, 2007Susan: "I need you to ditch Edie tomorrow night and have dinner with Dr. Ron and me."
Karl: "Now why would I do that?"
Susan: "Well, for starters, because you banged your secretary and you owe me for the rest of your life."
Karl: "I'll bring wine."