Desperate Housewives Quotes (Page 3)
Susan: "Are you crazy? If we don't do something, those two could end up having sex!"
Edie: "Could?"
Susan: "Oh, my God. You don't..."
Edie: "Let me put it this way. I got a box of condoms in my dresser. 11 are gone. I can only account for eight of 'em."
Parker: "What if the crazy lady comes back?"
Tom: "She won't."
Parker: "How do you know?"
Tom: "Well, because she's... up in heaven with auntie Nora."
Lynette: "Or wherever."
Twin: "Mommy, were you shot?"
Lynette: "Shot? Where did you hear that?"
Twin: "Jordan Blackwelder."
Tom: "That's the same little creep who tried to ruin Santa Claus!"
Tom: "So what did Ed say? When do you have to go back to work?"
Lynette: "He said take as much time as I want with pay."
Tom: "You should get gunned down more often."
Susan: "Julie, that boy drinks, he steals, and now I find him mauling you on my couch? That's it. I forbid you to see him."
Julie: "You can't do that. I choose who I date."
Susan: "Yeah? Well, I choose to ground you. Two weeks, baby."
Julie: "Fine, I'll just see him at school."
Susan: "Well, then you won't go to school. I'll home school you."
Julie: "Right, you're gonna teach me trig? You can't even balance your own checkbook."
Susan: "Okay, I thought the restaurant was fantastic and you were the fussy snob who was impossible to please."
Ian: "Why do I have to be the fussy snob?"
Susan: "Because you're British."
Ian: "Fine. But I trust you'll make it up to me later by doing the things a gentleman expects when he's sprung for lobster."
Orson: "Bree, I refuse to sit in a room that smells of disinfectant and lime Jell-O, making small talk with a woman who doesn't remember me. Now let it go, damn it. But by all means, do send a card. The elves will tickle her."
• Vote for this Quote! • August 22nd, 2007Orson: "Christmas carols? It's not even Thanksgiving."
Bree: "I'm starting my cards early this year. It puts me in the mood to spread holiday cheer."
Andrew: "With the pack of lies in this family newsletter, she spreads holiday denial."
Bree: "Andrew, it's etiquette. Nobody wants to read the truth at Christmas."
Orson: "Well said, darling."
Lynette: "I'm gonna make you a cake."
Art: "A cake?"
Lynette: "Yeah. I never make cakes. This is huge."
Art: "In that case, thanks."
Mary Alice: "Each year as part of their fund-raising drive, the Fairview Adventure Scouts would award a shiny new bike to whoever sold the most magazine subscriptions. And each scout would set out utterly convinced the prize would be hers. That's the beauty of youth. Little girls believe anything is possible...that is, until they grow up and get divorced."
• Vote for this Quote! • August 22nd, 2007
