Desperate Housewives Quotes (Page 5)
Gabrielle: "Hey! C**ktails? Nobody called me?"
Susan: "It was spur-of-the-moment. We're numbing the pain of our miserable lives."
Gabrielle: "Oh. Well, I was trying to do that with exercise, but why risk the heart attack? Make mine a double!"
Carlos: "You wanna wash my shorts?"
Gabrielle: "I don't want to, but if you wear them one more time, they're gonna ask me themselves."
Tom: "Okay, now when I say open, don't look with your eyes. Look with your imagination."
Lynette: "Okay."
Tom: "Okay. Open."
Lynette: "Oh dear god."
Tom: "Damn it, you looked with your eyes!"
Ian: "How are things with Mike?"
Susan: "Oh, uh, they're moving along. It's a process."
Ian: "And the, uh, blonde woman who's been visiting him every day, is she part of the process?"
Susan: "Uh, Edie? Oh, she's just a neighbor. She visits Mike after her Hepatitis C treatments."
Orson: "Darling, you are amazing, you know that? To rise above all that unpleasantness with such dignity."
Bree: "Well, thank you, darling. But if you think for one second that I'm gonna break bread with that malicious, pill-popping shrew, you're out of your mind."
Susan: "No, no, no, no! No, no, this, this is not how this ends. No, evil does not triumph over good."
Edie: "That's how you see me?"
Susan: "Damn straight! You lie, you cheat, you scheme! You ruin peoples' relationships! I mean, how do you sleep at night?"
Edie: "Soon with Mike on top of me, if you know what I mean."
Susan: "See? Evil! Evil! "
Nurse: "You need to leave."
Susan: "What?"
Nurse: "You're disturbing the other patients."
Susan: "No, what are you... oh, this is ridiculous! I mean, who am I disturbing? It's a coma ward! Don't you want them to wake up?!"
Julie: "Normally, I charge 12 bucks an hour for tutoring, but seeing as it's you, 15."
Austin: "Great. See you Friday. Oh, and just so you know, I charge 15 an hour to make out, so I'll probably break even."
Gabrielle: "She promised to stand by him, and once you make that commitment you have to see it through."
Lynette: "Yeah. How's that divorce going?"
Gabrielle: "I'm done talking."
Doctor: "She is resisting our efforts to pump her stomach. She says she only took three sedatives."
Andrew: "She's disoriented. Pump her."
Bree: "Andrew! Pump her."
