Everybody Hates Eggs Quotes
Jerome: [about Chris' egg] I'm only good at acting like it's not my baby.
Narrator: That year he won the Oscar for Best Non-Supporting Father.
Drew: I was watching that!
Julius: I've seen it. Rosebud's his sled.
Jennifer: You're overbearing and clingy, and if you keep it up, you're gonna be a single father, too!
Narrator: 20 years later, that's what Greg's mail-order bride said.
Narrator: Growing up in Bed-Stuy, the worst thing my mother always said was that we'd better not bring home any babies. In fact, my mother was so paranoid, she didn't like anything in the house that even reminded her of a baby.
Rochelle: Boy, is that a baby?
Drew: No, that's a football.
Rochelle: Is that a baby?
Tonya: No, it's a shoebox.
Rochelle: Is that a baby?
Chris: No, it's baby carrots!
Narrator: I was so scared of bringing home babies, to this day, my mother hasn't seen my kids.
Greg: Am I going to have to call Child Protective Services on you?
Narrator: At least I didn't dangle my egg over a balcony like Michael Jackson!