Everybody Hates Chris Quotes (Page 2)
Jerome: Little dude from across the street! Does your momma know you out here tellin' jokes like that?
Chris: No.
Narrator: Because if she did, she'd smack the smut outta me!
Narrator: I found out one thing in life: If you want people to laugh, tell 'em a joke. Now, if you really want 'em to laugh, tell 'em a dirty joke.
• Vote for this Quote! • October 3rd, 2007 Narrator: Even people who told other people not to gamble, gambled.
Priest: Let me tell you this: Gambling is a sin! With a capital S!
Rochelle: You know what? I'm gonna change your name from Chrissy the Black to Chrissy the Black and Blue.
• Vote for this Quote! • October 3rd, 2007Narrator: Win or lose, I bet I'm in trouble!
• Vote for this Quote! • October 3rd, 2007 Narrator: [about Jerome] He went on to join Public Enemy as one of the guys who looked tough, but was never allowed to rap.
White Cop: We have a warrant for the arrest of Hilton Reid, a.k.a. DJ Hilly Hill.
Narrator: The first rule of breakin' the law: If the cops are after you, don't stand under a sign with your name on it.
Narrator: Just as everyone else was scared by "The Exorcist," my father was scared by another movie: Night of the Lepus.
• Vote for this Quote! • October 3rd, 2007 Rochelle: I don't want you foolin' around with no black magic. You hear me? I don't wanna come home and see no pentagrams and dead goats and chickens and stuff like that. Only good, clean, white magic. You hear me?
Narrator: Why not compromise and do Puerto Rican magic?
Woman #1: My boy is a football player. He just got a scholarship to Rutgers!
Woman #2: My daughter is a doctor. She just finished her first open-heart surgery.
Rochelle: And my son is a magician, and he just made Bed-Stuy disappear! [outside, a barren desert is shown]
Pam: You better tell him to bring it back, 'cause I'm closin' at 9.
Rochelle: Your credit card. Be a man about it, Julius! It's got your name on it! Oh, and you know what else it says, Julius? It says "card holder since 1970." That means that for 15 years, you've been hidin' this from me!
• Vote for this Quote! • October 3rd, 2007