Everybody Hates Chris Quotes (Page 5)
Narrator: My father was evacuating to avoid Hurricane Rochelle.
• Vote for this Quote! • October 3rd, 2007 Jerome: [about Chris' egg] I'm only good at acting like it's not my baby.
Narrator: That year he won the Oscar for Best Non-Supporting Father.
Drew: I was watching that!
Julius: I've seen it. Rosebud's his sled.
Jennifer: You're overbearing and clingy, and if you keep it up, you're gonna be a single father, too!
Narrator: 20 years later, that's what Greg's mail-order bride said.
Narrator: Growing up in Bed-Stuy, the worst thing my mother always said was that we'd better not bring home any babies. In fact, my mother was so paranoid, she didn't like anything in the house that even reminded her of a baby.
Rochelle: Boy, is that a baby?
Drew: No, that's a football.
Rochelle: Is that a baby?
Tonya: No, it's a shoebox.
Rochelle: Is that a baby?
Chris: No, it's baby carrots!
Narrator: I was so scared of bringing home babies, to this day, my mother hasn't seen my kids.
Greg: Am I going to have to call Child Protective Services on you?
Narrator: At least I didn't dangle my egg over a balcony like Michael Jackson!
Julius' Boss: Julius, we've got a problem.
Narrator: You mean besides the fact that you've got a black Santa workin' at a white department store called Goldstein's?
Tonya: Chris gets sick and now we can't get anything for Christmas.
Drew: Man, we were good for nothin'.
Rochelle: No, you were good because you were supposed to be good. I mean, what if there were no Christmas? Would you be runnin' around here startin' forest fires?
Narrator: I don't know if he's more concerned because I lost consciousness, or because I lost a half-day's pay.
• Vote for this Quote! • October 3rd, 2007Narrator: Black Santa Claus caused more tears than the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.
• Vote for this Quote! • October 3rd, 2007