Everybody Hates Chris Quotes (Page 6)
Julius: You're firing me at Christmastime?
Narrator: That's the only time you can fire Santa.
Mr. Omar: I know you lost your man, Mrs. Roberts, but with a body like that, I know Santa's gonna bring you another.
• Vote for this Quote! • October 3rd, 2007 Julius: So, what can Santa give you for Christmas?
Little Girl: A Malibu Barbie with the pink remote-controlled Corvette, the Barbie townhouse and the Barbie swimming pool.
Julius: Ooh. Do you know how much all that stuff costs?
Little Girl: No.
Julius: Well, Santa's gonna tell you. It costs 137 dollars and 16 cents. Do you have that kind of money?
Little Girl: No.
Julius: Well, neither does Santa.
[the little girl starts crying]
Narrator: Welcome to my world, kid.
Chris: [speaking in front of the class] To me, Thanksgiving means family and togetherness. Thanksgiving came about when the pilgrims landed on Plymouth Rock. The Indians greeted them, provided them shelter, taught them how to grow corn and how to prepare for the winter, and went on to cook one of the greatest meals the pilgrims ever ate. And in their appreciation for showing them how to prosper and survive in this brave new world, the pilgrims killed the Indians and created a holiday in their honor. So, on this Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for my family, my friends, but most importantly, I'm thankful that I'm not a Native American.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • October 3rd, 2007Narrator: My mac 'n cheese looked so good, Gandhi would've snuck himself a plate.
• Vote for this Quote! • October 3rd, 2007 Julius: Did Martin Luther King, Jr. take a break? Did Moses take a break? Did Gandhi take a break?
Narrator: He took a break from eatin'!
Narrator: Back at school, I stopped making promises and started making demands.
Chris: I'd like all book reports to be on books that were made into movies.
Ms. Morello: Are you high? I'm asking, not judging.
Chris: No, I'm just trying to fulfill my campaign promises.
Mrs. Milone: Just for curiosity's sake, what else did you promise?
Chris: A TV in the library, more field trips, instituting recess, and no more detention.
Ms. Morello: Chris, how are you going to know how to act when you get stopped by the police if we don't give you detention?
Narrator: Back at school, it was Crouching Tiger, Hidden Truth.
• Vote for this Quote! • October 3rd, 2007 Narrator: After talking to Greg, I imagined what my father would say to me.
Julius: So you just gonna quit, huh? All these people who made it possible for you to become the first black class president, and now you just gonna quit?
Tuskegee Airman: Yeah. And what if we quit? Black people would never have become pilots.
Aunt Jemima: If I had quit, pancakes would taste like crap.
Cream of Wheat Man: If I had quit, Cream of Wheat would've been called "Cream of White!"
Uncle Ben: If I had quit, it would take hours to cook rice.
Julius: You're supposed to get a hundred. You don't get a prize for doing well.
Narrator: My father never rewarded good behavior.
Chris: Dad, I cleaned the tub.
Julius: You're supposed to clean the tub. It's your dirt ring.
Tonya: Hey Dad, I fixed the heater.
Julius: You're supposed to fix the heater. You're the one who likes it warm.
Drew: Hey Dad, I slaughtered a pig.
Julius: You're supposed to slaughter a pig. You're the one who likes bacon.