Everybody Hates Chris Quotes (Page 9)
Chris: Would you like to buy some cookies?
Diabetic Black Husband: I'll take four.
Black Wife: What are you doin'? He has diabetes. You tryin' to kill him?!
Narrator: I know I look cool on the outside, but on the inside I was doing this.
Chris: (crying) I WON'T DO IT ANYMORE, I PROMISE! I'M NOT A THIEF!! I WANT MY MOMMA!!
White Cop: You the kid sellin' the cookies?
Chris: Right off the truck. How many do you want?
White Cop: None. You're under arrest.
Greg: Never heard of Thomas "Tip" O'Neill?
Narrator: Not unless he's related to Shaquille!
Narrator: My father has gotten tickets from Risky before: for the Ali-Frazier fight at Madison Square Garden.
Rochelle: Oh!
Julius: What happened? Who's down? What happened?
Rochelle: Man!
Narrator: He got 'em tickets to see Patti LaBelle at Lincoln Center.
Julius: What's she wearin'? Has she thrown her shoe yet?
Rochelle: I got Patti's shoe! I got Patti's shoe! Smell it! Smell it! Yeah Patti, I love you girl! Whoo!
Chris: I wanted to lie, but my mother always told me if I did, she'd slap me into another nationality!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • October 1st, 2007Narrator: My father knew that if my mother ever found that Playboy, he'd probably never see a naked woman again.
• Vote for this Quote! • October 1st, 2007 Chris: So... are we going to be learning how to break boards?
Mr. Jackson: You got somethin' against boards? Huh? What has a board ever done to you? Has a board ever embarrassed you in front of your woman? Has it lied for your phone number and dared you to do something about it? And did you just stand and watch her get into the board's car and drive home?
Chris: Uh, no.
Mr. Jackson: That's why we ain't learning how to break no damn boards.
Narrator: For free my father would let me learn almost anything.
Julius: What are you doing?
Chris: Taking "How to Knock Off a Liquor Store" lessons.
Julius: How much does it cost?
Chris: It's free.
Julius: Go ahead.
Old Rochelle: Sleep again, huh? That's how Chris broke Drew's hand.
Old Julius: Rochelle, that was 45 years ago.
Old Rochelle: Mm-hmm.