8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter Quotes
Stewie Griffin [to Meg]: Yep. [sigh] I suppose neither of us is really cut out for love and we shoul-- [to self] OH MY GOD, Jeremy's still in the trunk! Oh God, how long has it been? Uhh, l-let's see, t-two weeks. Yup. Yup, he's dead. Definitely dead.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 17th, 2007Stewie Griffin [to Jeremy]: Ha! I got your hat! Take that, hatless! Now go back to the quad and resume your hackey sack tourney! I'm not gonna lay down for some frat boy bastard with his damn Teva sandals and his Skoal Bandits and his Abercrombie and Fitch long sleeved, open stitched, crew neck Henley, smoking his sticky buds out of a soda can while watching his favorite downloaded Simpsons episodes every night! Yes, we all love Mr. Plow! Oh, you've got the song memorized, do you? SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE! That is exactly the kind of idiot you see at Taco Bell at 1 in the morning! The guy who just whiffed his way down the bar skank ladder!
• Vote for this Quote! • July 17th, 2007Stewie Griffin [in front of the mirror]: Oh, hey, Liddane. Hey, what's goin' on? How are you? Yeah. Oh, it's just me, Stewie, just, uh, bein' myself. Uh... yeah. Oh-oh, well, this here? Oh, it's just my package. Yeah, just-just, uh... just, uh, my package. God delivered it, I signed for it, the world keeps on spinnin', huh?
• Vote for this Quote! • July 17th, 2007Meg Griffin [to Peter]: Are you out of your mind?! You can't sell me, you fat son of a bitch!!!
• Vote for this Quote! • July 17th, 2007Peter Griffin: All right, you guys, I got eight crates of Ipecac from Mort. All on my tab. Now, whoever goes the longest without puking gets the last piece of pie in the fridge.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 17th, 2007 Stewie Griffin [from upstairs]: Meg! Meg, I'm hungry! There's a granola bar in the cupboard. I want it! Hey. Hey! What's this? What's going on? Am I talking to myself up there?
Meg Griffin [angrily]: Oh my God, Stewie, just shut up and go to bed!
Stewie Griffin: Do you know what I do, Meg? I spit in your mouth while you sleep.
Meg Griffin: Finally! Look, Mom, I've had it. I am not baby-sitting anymore. It's Saturday night, I could be out, HAVING A LIFE.
Lois Griffin: Meg, if you don't want to babysit anymore, that's fine. But don't you stand there and lie to me about Meg having a life.
Peter Griffin: Oh, Meg, she torched your ass, man. She torched your ass!
Peter Griffin: Ah, jeez, that's more of a ripoff than that Breakfast Machine I bought.
[cut to Peter setting up the Breakfast Machine, which, at the end of its cycle, shoots him in the arm with a gun]
Peter Griffin: Ahhhh! Ow! Oh, what was the point of all that?! Ah! All it does is shoot ya, it doesn't make breakfast at all! Ahh!
Stewie Griffin: You know, Meg, if you kill yourself now you'll probably get a full page in the yearbook. So, um, you know, that's something to think ab... [burps]. Oops, just burped.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 17th, 2007
