Airport '07 Quotes
Lois Griffin: Ah, Glenn, we are so thrilled for you.
Brian Griffin: Yeah, I guess it didn't take much for you to get your job back, now that you're a hero.
Peter Griffin: Yeah, and I'm so happy for you, I don't even mind that I was raped in a federal prison after I was arrested for hijacking.
Tom Tucker: Some new developments in the Flight 209 drama. Recently discharged pilot, Captain Glenn Quagmire, is apparently talking the plane down. Ollie Williams has the story. Ollie?
Ollie Williams: I'M AT THE WRONG AIRPORT!
Tom Tucker: Oops. Well, thanks, Ollie.
Flight Attendant: Oh, that was great.
Glenn Quagmire: Thanks. I know you have a choice in airport sex, and I appreciate your choosing Quagmire. Please exercise caution when standing up, as the contents of your vagina may have shifted during coitus. All right, I've got a plane to catch. Say, which gate is Flight 209?
Flight Attendant: 209? That flight left half an hour ago.
Glenn Quagmire: Oh, my God. Oh, my God! That plane's going down! My friends are on that plane, they're all gonna die!
Flight Attendant: What?! Oh, no!
Glenn Quagmire: And that's not the worst part... here's the condom I said I'd put on. Haha, aren't I the just worst?
Cleveland Brown: So, how's the job hunt going?
Peter Griffin: Ah, it's awful, Cleveland. Quagmire blew every gig we got him.
Joe Swanson: Yeah, you did a terrible job as my nurse.
[cut to Joe's house, where Quagmire is changing Joe's diaper]
Glenn Quagmire: You make your doo-doos, Joe?
Joe Swanson: Shut up.
Lois Grifin [answering phone]: H-hello? Oh, you must have a wrong number. There's no one here by the name of Long Rod Von Hugen Dong.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 25th, 2007 Stewie Griffin: Oh, great. This going to be worse than the time I lived with Marlee Matlin.
[cut to Stewie siting on a couch, Marlee Matlin walks by, unaware she is farting with each step]
Marlee Matlin: Hi, Stewie!
Stewie Griffin: Oh, come on, Marlee, I know you can't hear them, but you gotta feel those things slapping out of there!
Chris Griffin: AHHHHHHHH! Mom! Dad! There's somebody in my treehouse!
Lois Griffin: Yeah, and there's an annoying little homo screaming in my kitchen. Which one do you think I'm more pissed about?
Homo Dwarf: I'll remind you that I was invited here!
Tom Tucker: Fortunately, no one was injured. However, using state-of-the-art Channel 5 computer technology, we'll show you how disasterous it could have been. Here's how it would've looked if the plane had crashed into a school!
• Vote for this Quote! • July 25th, 2007Glenn Quagmire [on the P.A. system]: Good afternoon, ladies and gentleman. This is your captain, Glenn Quagmire. Uh... we're looking at about a four-and-a-half-hour flight time today, uhhhhh... We got clear skies, good visibility. The temperature in Atlanta is 64 degrees, uhhhhh... the flight's gonna be a bit longer than expected, uh, we got some very strong headwinds... giggity... uh, flight attendants, please prepare for takeoff.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 25th, 2007 Peter Griffin: Hey, Meg, come here. Have a seat.
Meg Griffin: Dad...what are you doing?
Peter Griffin: Meg, I'm a Redneck. Which means I am about to do something to you that you will not remember until you're 40.
Meg Griffin: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Peter Griffin: Meg, come back here! I meant sex!