Bill and Peter's Bogus Journey Quotes
Peter Griffin: Hey, listen, Bill, uh, you and I need to have a talk.
[cut to Peter and Bill in bed after having sex]
Peter Griffin: Boy, you are good. You are really really good.
Carol Pewterschmidt: Well Lois, this is an unexpected surprise. You and Peter should drop by more often.
Lois Griffin: Well we were in the neighborhood and Peter said let's stop in. Wasn't that thoughtful?
Carter Pewterschmidt: Will you people quiet down?! I'm trying to watch Medium.
Lois Griffin: You know what? Daddy's right. Let's go upstairs where we won't bother him.
Carter Pewterschmidt: Good. Alright! Go medium! Wish I could talk to ghosts. That'd be sweeeeeet.
Glenn Quagmire: You want me to drag my sack across your face?
Peter Griffin: What?
Glenn Quagmire: It's... I'm sorry. It's, when when one of my lady friends is upset, that's how I, that's how I cheer her... listen, Peter, this is all I know. I'm... I'm not very good in these types of situations.
Peter Griffin: I can't believe Lois would cheat on me.
Glenn Quagmire: Look, Peter, I know this is a very difficult time for you, but I, I want you to know I'm... I'm here for you if you need anything.
Lois Griffin: Oh, God. I've been a worse wife than Lorena Bobbitt when she was married to The Thing.
[cut to The Thing, looking for something]
The Thing: Oh my God, where is it? Where'd she throw it? Oh, God! Oh, God!
Lois Griffin: Are you asking me what I think you're asking me?
Bill Clinton: Well, that depends on what your definition of the word "Jizz" is.
Bill Clinton: Hey Lois, you up for a little "Exit Polling" ?
• Vote for this Quote! • July 26th, 2007 Peter Griffin [walks in on Bill and Lois]: Hey, Bill, you up for a little bowling? I swiped some money out of Lois' purse. I don't think she'll notice 'cause she's here, humping you?!
Lois Griffin: [gasps] Peter, look, I know this looks bad, and I feel horrible, and-and I know nothing I could say to you could possibly justify why I slept with Bill, except... I mean, Peter, the man presided over the longest economic expansion in U.S. History and... he reduced the percentage of Americans on welfare to it's lowest level in 33 years!
Bill Clinton: Thirty-five years.
Lois Griffin: Thirty-five years, Peter!
Peter Griffin: Well, Well. I learned something today. Apparently there's the side of Bill Clinton the world knows, and then there's the dark, sex-crazed side only I know!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 26th, 2007 Bill Clinton: Hey, you up for a little NAFTA?
Lois Griffin: What's that?
Bill Clinton: 'Nother Afternoon F**king That Ass! [chuckles]