Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows Quotes
Pearl Burton: Now go warm me up some of that diarrhea soup!
Brian Griffin: That's it! I have had it with you, you old hag! You're just a miserable, dried-up shut-in trying to make everyone else feel as bad as you do! Why don't you do the world a big favor and DROP DEAD?! Uh, this... this last one won't open...
Pearl Burton: Oh, you gotta jiggle it a little bit.
Brian Griffin: Like... like this?
Pearl Burton: No, here, let me get it. [undoes the lock]
Brian Griffin: Oh, thanks. And, uh...and, you know. Drop dead.
Dr. Goodman: It's great to learn...
Everyone: Cause knowledge is power!
Dr. Goodman: Oh, it's a very rare species, the endangered White-Rump Swallow.
Chris Griffin: [laughs] Rump.
Peter Griffin: This isn't funny Chris!
Brian Griffin: This is the worst job I've ever had. Well, except for one.
[flash back to the mall, outside Hickory Farms]
Brian Griffin [to customer]: Um, excuse me, would you like to taste my smoked meat log?
Stewie Griffin: AH HA! So they do make bigger diapers! That deceitful woman told me I'd have to learn to use the toilet! Well fie on the toilet! It's made slaves of you all. I've seen it sitting in there, lazy slothful porcelain lay-about feeding on other people's doo-doo's while contributing nothing of its own to society. [points to the toilet] GET A JOB!
• Vote for this Quote! • July 9th, 2007 Lois Griffin: What happened with your date?
Brian Griffin: Same thing that always happens. She was an idiot.