Don't Make Me Over Quotes
Meg Griffin: [after sex] Wow, Jimmy. That was everything Ladies' Home Journal said it would be.
Jimmy Fallon: [in bed, snickering]: Awesome. Great. Thanks. Um, you know, there's something I... there's something I've gotta tell you. Being with you makes me feel so a-live from New York, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!
[Lois and Peter watch in the green room]
Lois Griffin: Oh, my God!
Peter Griffin: Yeah, that wasn't a very good opening sketch, was it? A rare miss.
Lois Griffin: I don't think that was a sketch, Peter.
Meg Griffin: Mom, Dad! He used me for comedy!
Peter Griffin: Wait a minute, are you telling me that my daughter was deflowered in front of one-and-a-half times the MADtv audience?
Stewie Griffin: [singing] I want to have intercourse with you ... Uh, oh, yeah ... Intercourse with you
Brian Griffin: Relations!
Stewie Griffin: Intercourse with you-u-u-u ... Right?
Brian Griffin: Yeah, no, great, that sounds good.
Stewie Griffin: All right, all right, yeah, groovy, groovy. Now, uh, is there a shorter word for intercourse?
Peter Griffin: Alright, Dr. Ditty. I got three choices for you for the name of the band: Peter Griffin Starship, Peter Griffin and the Sunday Steppers, or Testicular Sound Express.
Dr. Ditty: I think the name is Meg.
Meg Griffin: Me? Why?
Peter Griffin: Yeah, why?
Dr. Ditty: Let me explain something to you, all right? We got to get her half-naked and put her out front, center stage. And that's gonna make y'all billionaires, because America loves hot, white, jailbait ass.
Peter Griffin: Wait a minute...that's the smartest thing i've ever heard anyone say about anything.
Lois Griffin: I'm not sure I'm comfortable with Meg being exploited that way.
Meg Griffin: Shut up, mom! It's not your decision, I want to be exploited.
Prisoner: Man, I could strangle her all night long!...Uhh, that's not healthy, is it? That that's the first thing I go to?
• Vote for this Quote! • July 10th, 2007 Lois Griffin: All right, kids. Now everyone stay together. It's very important to your father that we're here for his band's first performance.
Director: The people who beat you are proud to present, all the way from Quahog: "Fat, Horny, Black and Joe."
Peter Griffin: Hello, Cleveland!
Cleveland Brown: Hello, Peter.
Glenn Quagmire: One, Two, Three, Four!
Peter Griffin: Oh my god, we don't know any songs.
Audience: You suck! Get off the stage!
Peter Griffin: Hey, you gotta start somewhere, fellas. That's how you evolve. Like when the tin man found out he was gay.
[cut to Dorothy, the Tin Man, The Scarecrow and Toto from The wizard of Oz, as the Tin Man falls on the Scarecrow]
Tin Man: Oh, oh, look what happened by accident!
Brian Griffin: Uh, you know, Peter, just because you guys entertained a bunch of drunken idiots at a karaoke bar doesn't mean you have what it takes to form a band.
Peter Griffin: Oh, Brian, you're just ants at a picnic. We're gonna be awesome!
Brian Griffin: Wait, what-what am I? I'm ants at a picnic? Is-is that what you just said? I just, I-I'm ants at a picnic? All right, just making sure.
Lois Griffin: Peter take a look at your daughter.
Peter Griffin: Oh my God, Lois, I'm sorry, it was 15 years ago, I'd never even heard the word rubber.
Lois Griffin: Peter, this is Meg!
Meg Griffin: I got a makeover, Dad! Don't I look great?
Peter Griffin: Oh Meg, honey, I always thought you were beautiful just the way you- Oh God, couldn't do that with a straight face!
Peter Griffin: Oh, please tell me this is some kind of practical joke. Like the kind I used to play when I was an intern at the hospital.
[cut away to hospital]
Peter Griffin: I'm afraid I have some very bad news, your wife's going to be a vegetable. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, and care for her the rest of her life.
Guy: Oh my god.
Peter Griffin: No no no, I'm just kidding. She's dead.
Meg Griffin: Mom, Dad, am I ugly?
Lois Griffin: Oh, of course not, sweetie.
Peter Griffin: Yeah, where'd you get a stupid idea like that?
Meg Griffin: Craig Hoffman.
Peter Griffin: Craig H-Craig Hoffman said that? Well, he's a sharp kid; you might be ugly.
