E. Peterbus Unum Quotes
Bartender: You still owe me for the other rounds, which comes to 50 bucks.
Peter: I'm a foreign diplomat. I don't pay for drinks. Do you think G. Gordon Liddy paid for his drinks while he was strangling people with piano wire for the good of our nation?
Peter (while digging a hole for a pool): Kids, promise me you won't go swimming without a lifeguard. It's my duty as a parent to make sure you're safe.....hehehehehe....doody.....hehehehe....diarrhea. Hey, Lois....diarrhea."
Lois: Oh Peter, I'm carrying iced tea.
Cleveland: Oh, Peter, that tickles me in a way, that if Loretta tickled me in that way, I'd say, Oh yea ... that's nice ... that's the spot.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • February 11th, 2007Adam West: We invited Reverend Jesse Jackson to open up our ceremonies with a prayer.
(Crowd mutters in excitement)
Adam West: Unfortunately he could not make it, so instead we have LaToya Jackson.
LaToya Jackson: Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub. Yea God!
Adam West: How very inappropriate, thank you.
Chris: Dad, I tried to go to school but this guy won't let me.
Peter: Oh yeah? Him and what army?
Chris: The U.S. Army.
Peter: Oh, that's a good army.
Adam West: I love this job more than I love taffy ... and I'm a man who enjoys his taffy.
• Vote for this Quote! • February 11th, 2007Peter: Ok, here's another riddle. A woman has two children. A homicidal murderer tells her she can only keep one. Which one does she let him kill?
Brian: That's... that's not a riddle. That's ... that's just terrible.
Peter: Wrong, the ugly one!
Peter: Well, I'm gettin' something really special too. And by special I don't mean special like that Kleinaman boy down the street. More special like... like Special K, the cereal. Hey, what do they do with the regular K? And for that matter, what ever happend to K. Ballard? You know, if you said mallard and you had a cold, it would sound like ballard.
Brian: Do you listen to yourself when you talk?
Peter: I drift in and out.
