Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High Quotes
Peter Griffin: You know, Lois, Chris is cool and everything, but, eh, since he killed that guy, uh, I don't know. Maybe he shouldn't be living with us here now.
Lois Griffin: Peter, I'm scared!
Peter Griffin: Don't worry, sweetheart. You'll have plenty of time to escape while he's killing Meg. He hates her the most.
Lois Griffin: No, wait a minute! I can't call the police! I have to get rid of this body, or Chris'll go to prison! And we all know what happens in those prison showers. I've seen Oz.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 10th, 2007 Brian Griffin: Okay, you can stop that now.
Stewie Griffin: I can't hear you, i'm a robot!
Brian Griffin: Come on, knock it off.
Stewie Griffin: Does not compute!
Brian Griffin: I'm going to bed.
Stewie Griffin: I do not require sleep!
Lois Griffin: So, Chris, how's the latest with your little girlfriend?
Chris Griffin: Oh, I don't think Mrs. Lockhart likes me at all.
Lois Griffin: Mrs. Lockhart? Your teacher?
Peter Griffin [ignoring Lois and Chris]: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Lois, this is not my Batman glass.
Lois Griffin: Peter, are you listening? Chris has a crush on his teacher!
Meg Griffin: Ew, gross!
Stewie Griffin: You know what else is gross? [tries to force a fart but his right eye turns red] Ahh, broke a damn blood vessel!
Stewie Griffin: Just remember fat man, those jugs are mine until the milk dries up. Then you can have the remains!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 10th, 2007 Brian Griffin: Gosh, I was really starting to like this job. It was nice interacting with intelligent people. I usually hang out with an idiot.
[cut to Peter standing near the stairs with a water hose in a yellow and greenish bathing suit, as the water from the hose goes down the stairs]
Peter Griffin: Brian, Brian, check it out. I made a water slide in the house.
Brian Griffin: I'm not gonna call the hospital because you won't learn anything if I do.
Peter Griffin: Hey, hey Chris. When I was in school, you know what we used to do when a teacher gave us a bad grade?
Chris Griffin: What?
Peter Griffin: We'd egg his house. Come on, where's this bastard live?
Chris Griffin: I'll show you! That's his house!
[Peter and Chris laugh as they throw eggs at the door of the house until Brian opens it]
Brian Griffin: What the hell are you doing?
Peter Griffin: Is that him?
Chris Griffin: Yeah!
Peter Griffin: Oh, crap!
Gym Teacher: Most of the time, the kids will exercise out in the field, but if its raining or I'm hungover, they stay inside and play dodge ball.
Peter Griffin: Aww, I love dodge ball. Heads up! [throws ball at man]
Home Ec Teacher: And this week in home ec, we're teaching your kids how to make bundt cake.
Peter Griffin: Aw, I love bundt cake. Heads up! [throws cake at the same man]
Band Teacher: The school band offers a wide variety of instruments from the kettle drum to the trombone.
Peter Griffin: Aw, I love the trombone! [the man from before braces himself, but Peter plays a solo, everyone applauds]
Peter Griffin: Heads up! [throws the trombone]
Tom Tucker: In local news, a Buddy Cianci Jr. High School student has been arrested for possession of drugs. The student has been sentenced to 200 hours of community service, and is a very bad boy! We now we go to Ollie Williams with the Punishment Forecast. Ollie?
Ollie Williams: HE GON' GIT IT!
Tom: Thanks, Ollie.