Lethal Weapons Quotes
Chris Griffin: Go, Dad! Kick her ass!
Meg Griffin: [shoves Chris] Shut up! This is all Dad's fault!
Chris Griffin: I don't like to be touched! [
Meg Griffin: Look. I got a letter from Dad. "Dear Meg, for the first four years of your life, I thought you were a housecat." Dad!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 5th, 2007 Stewie Griffin: [imitating Brian] I'm the dog! I'm well-read and have a diverse stock portfolio! But I'm not above eating grass clippings and regurgitating them on the small braided rug near the door!
Brian Griffin: [imitating Stewie] I'm a pompous little Antichrist who will probably abandon my plans for world domination when I grow up and fall in love with a rough trick named Jim.
Psychologist: Does Stewart have a history of aggression?
Lois Griffin: No, no, hitting Peter is the first violent thing he's ever done.
Stewie Griffin: Well, technically the first act of violence was that time bomb I left ticking in your uterus before I came out. Happy 50th birthday Lois!
Brian Griffin: Peter, you look terrible. What happened?
Peter Griffin: Last night, Lois was... the man!
Brian Griffin: Good lord!
Peter Griffin: I just want you to know, Brian...I didn't cry.
Stewie Griffin: Why you tottering fem-sucked dewberry, I'm going to find something to strike you with. Excuse me.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 5th, 2007 Lois Griffin: Oh, the Drunken Clam? Why couldn't we go someplace fancy like The Olive Garden? Oh, the bread sticks. Me likey bread sticks! Me likey- [to herself] You're a big girl now. Stop it!
Peter Griffin [to a man]: Excuse me, New Yorker. I think you're in my seat, and I had sex with your mother last night.
Lois Griffin: Peter, are you crazy?
Man: What did you say?
Peter Griffin: Oh, about the seat, or about my plowing your father's wife? [Lois beats the guy up]
Lois Griffin [to Peter]: What the hell are you doing?
Peter Griffin [to another man]: Excuse me. Is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you... very homosexually.
Glenn Quagmire: Hello, 911?, it's Quagmire. Yeah, yeah, it's in a window this time.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 5th, 2007 Stewie Griffin: Must've pulled something playing hoops last week.
[cut to Stewie playing Basketball with black guys]
Stewie Griffin: I know you're not puttin' that rock up from here, you ain't gon no J.
Black Guy: Yo, man, that's trippin'!
Stewie Griffin: Brotha, please, you're the one who's trippin'. Go on, cry home to your mama, she waitin' for you!
Black Guy: Now, don't make me put my size 13s up your narrow ass!
Stewie Griffin: I don't sweat you. Bring it on, bitch! Now how you gonna act? Sheesh. Bringin' that trash in here... this is my house!
Lois Griffin: Peter, I am not a sideshow attraction, at least not anymore.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 5th, 2007