Mother Tucker Quotes (Page 2)
Peter Griffin: I can't believe you left Dad.
Thelma Griffin: I have needs that he didn't satisfy, and I'm still a young woman, Peter. 82 is the new 74. I'm putting my fine ass back on the market.
Peter Griffin: Wait, hang on a second, I never see you, then you finally come visit me and you drop a bombshell like this? This is just like what happened at the Peanuts Reunion.
[cut to the Peanuts characters, all adults now, dancing. Charlie Brown comes in with tattoos, piercings, and a hooker by his side]
Charlie Brown: Stupid song! What are you lookin' at? Yeah, it's me, your old punching bag, Charlie Brown. Everybody wish Snoopy was here? And Woodstock? Everybody wish Snoopy and Woodstock was here? Well, they're dead! And guess what? I sold Snoopy the junk. That's right, he got it from me! I swear, I didn't know how strong it was! And now he's dead! They're both dead! I didn't give a crap about Woodstock, but Snoopy... [cries as the hooker tries to console him; he pushes her away] Get off me, you skank!
Peter Griffin: Ah, this is boring. I'd rather be home watching that video from The Ring.
[cut to Peter in the living room holding a video, with a woman wearing black pants and a white shirt]
Woman: Peter, don't! They say if you watch that video, you die.
Peter Griffin: Ah, that's a bunch of bologna.