Mr. Saturday Knight Quotes
Peter Griffin: Nobody calls me a fizzle and gets away with it! Except that one guy who called me a fizzle and then ran off. He got away with it. But most people who call me a fizzle don't get away with it. Well, actually, that guy who got away with it was the only one who ever called me a fizzle. After today, only half the people who ever called me a fizzle will have ever gotten away with it.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 6th, 2007 Black Knight: Hey, what's your fat ass doing here?
Performance Artist Bruce: He's my only means of conveyance. But, I guess I do spoil him.
Black Knight: Clearly, you do. And what are you doing here, Griffin?
Stewie Griffin: [to Peter] Hey. How you doin' there, big guy? You holdin' up all right? You want a sooooda? Hmm? Well, screw it, I tried.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 6th, 2007 Diane Simmons: Well, it's an exciting day for all here at the Renaissance Faire jousting meet. Wouldn't you say, Tom?
Tom Tucker: Diane, I'd say it was a perfect day if you weren't reminding us of our grandmas' cleavage.
Peter Griffin: The Black Knight is just a big jerk, like that guy who fixed our vacuum.
[cut away]
Vacuum Repairman: There you go, all fixed. Turns out a half-eaten meatball was clogging up the intake.
Peter Griffin: Oh. Well, did you save it?
Vacuum Repairman: Uh, no.
Peter Griffin: You bastard.
Lois Griffin: But you can't quit jousting. The big meet is today, and I thought you were...
Peter Griffin: [laughs] Did, did you just say, "big meet"?
Lois Griffin: Oh my God, I did!
Stewie Griffin [in his cereal-box fort, to Meg] Hey, porker! Yes, I'm calling you a porker, and there's nothing you can do about it because I'm protected by my impenetrable cereal box fort. [to Brian] Hey you, drunky! Yes, that's right, I'm calling you a drunky, and there's nothing you can do about it because I'm pro- [Brian smacks the fort, knocking it down]
• Vote for this Quote! • July 6th, 2007 Knight drill sergeant: You love the Middle Ages, don't you?
Peter Griffin: Sir, yes, sir!
Knight drill sergeant: The concept of a geocentric universe gets you sexually excited, doesn't it!?
Peter Griffin: Sir, yes, sir!!
Knight drill sergeant: You want to make 16th century mathematician Johannes Kepler your bitch, don't you?!!
Peter Griffin: SIR, YES, SIR!!!
Meg Griffin: Has Dad found a permanent job yet?
Lois Griffin: Meg, your father's going through a bit of a career transition. He's just sampling a few things, searching for something that fits him just right.
[Lois stops the car to see Peter dressed as a female prostitute at a street corner]
Brian Griffin: Well, clearly, it's not that tube top.
Peter Griffin: Hey! Looking for a good time, sweet cheeks?
Meg Griffin: Oh. My God.
Lois Griffin: Peter, get in the car!
Peter Griffin: OK, but it will cost you! What do you want, a Cleveland Steamer?
Lois Griffin: I said get in the car. What's a "Cleveland Steamer"?
Brian Griffin: It means that he'll-
Peter Griffin: Whoa, whoa, whoa, be cool, be cool.
Stewie Griffin: I'd do her, do her, wouldn't do her, ugh, who hasn't done her? Do her, lose the pigtails, then we'll talk. Do her, do her...
• Vote for this Quote! • July 6th, 2007
