No Meals on Wheels Quotes
Peter Griffin: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Joe, I... thought you were bringing your cop friends over. What are all these parallelograms doing here?
Joe Swanson: You mean paraplegics.
Peter Griffin: A bunch of cops in uniform hanging out in my restaurant? This is gonna be cooler than that time Ben Stiller taught me how to be myself.
[cut to Peter's front lawn, where Peter and Ben Stiller stand]
Peter Griffin: But how can you leave me now, Ben Stiller? When I need you more than ever?
Ben Stiller: I've taught you everything you need to know, Peter. Now it's time for me to go help another child.
Peter Griffin: I guess I just fooled myself into thinking you'd always be with me.
Ben Stiller: I will, Peter. I will always be with you. [he flaps his ears like wings and flies off into the sunset]
Peter Griffin: His movies are terrible!
Chris Griffin [holding a steak] The guy at table seven complained there's not enough juice on his prime rib.
Stewie Griffin: Oh, did he now? Well, let me take care of that for him. [picks up a rat, force-feeds it a bottle filled with some liquid, holds it over the plate, and makes it vomit on the steak] Tell him, "Bon appétit, douchebag."
Lois Griffin: Glenn, thank you so much for helping me tear up my carpet.
Glenn Quagmire: Well you know, Lois, I... I gotta confess, uh, when you called me, I sort of misunderstood what you were asking for. That's why I rushed over, but uh... it's fine, it's fine, whatever. I'm happy to help.
Brian Griffin: Alright, so we roll the dice, and then we both have to yell "Yahtzee" really loud.
Stewie Griffin: At the same time?
Brian Griffin: Yeah, and you have to flap your wrists like this [flaps wrists flamboyantly]
Stewie Griffin: And you'll do it too?
Brian Griffin: 'Course. That's how it's done.
Stewie Griffin: Okay.
Brian Griffin: Alright. Ready?
Stewie Griffin: Okay, you gonna do it with me?
Brian Griffin: Oh yeah. [rolls dice, doesn't shout Yahtzee]
Stewie Griffin: [flaps wrists flamboyantly] YAHTZEE!
Brian Griffin: Gay.
Stewie Griffin: YOU SUCK!
Announcer: We now return to America's Next Top Model.
Woman: I just don't think you're being fair, Tyra. You don't know what it's like to grow up the way I grew up.
Tyra Banks: [screaming] You know what? How dare you?! You don't know me! You have no idea where I come from, where I've been, HOW LONG I'VE BEEN THERE, WHAT I HAD TO DO TO GET FROM WHERE I WAS TO WHERE I AM NOW!!!!
