Petarded Quotes
Judge: In fact, if I could, I would put you in a place where you would be removed from the general public. Perhaps locked in a big, secure building with other dangerous people for a pre-determined period of time, based on the nature and degree of your offense. Unfortunately, as far as I know, no such place exists. So, I have no choice but to set you free.
Peter Griffin: Does that mean I get my kids back?
Judge: Absolutely not! Case closed! [bangs the gavel]
Peter Griffin: Oh, crap... Oh, it was prison you were thinking of. Prison.
Judge: Aw, I already banged the hammer.
Children's chorus: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.
Peter Griffin: Seven. Seven prostitutes!
Cleveland Brown: This is a shakedown!
Agent Jessup: Mr. Griffin, this isn't going to work.
Cleveland Brown: Yeah! Peter, you and five of those prostitutes, get out!
Peter Griffin: This plan is so perfect, it's retarded.
• Rating 4.9 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 10th, 2007 Meg Griffin: Thanks for letting my friends sleep over, Mr. Brown.
Cleveland Brown: No problem, Meg. If y'all get hungry, there's some cottage cheese in the fridge. I'm gonna get me a spoonful now before y'all have at it.
Peter Griffin: Attention, restaurant customers. Testicles. That is all.
Lois Griffin: [takes the mic from Peter] Give me that! Sorry, folks. Oh, my God, is that what my voice sounds like? It's... it's all whiny and nasaly... bleh!
Peter Griffin: Hello, Sally? Hey, hey, it's Peter Griffin...yeah, that's right, senior prom. Yeah, no, it's been a while, yeah. So, uh, listen, um, I just found out I'm retarded, and, um, I'm just calling to let you know, uh... you might want to get yourself tested. Hello?
• Vote for this Quote! • July 10th, 2007Brian Griffin: You know, Peter, I hate to say "I told you so" about not being a genius, but... EEEYEAH!! IN YOUR FUCKIN' FACE, FUCKWAD!!!! ... I'm ... I'm sorry about that.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 10th, 2007 Brian Griffin: Uh, Peter, according to this, you're not a genius. In fact, you're mentally retarded.
Peter Griffin: Oh, yeah? Well, would a mentally retarded guy have hired a bulldozer with a drunk driver to level half of his house in celebration of his fantastic test results?
Brian Griffin: Uh, maybe.
Peter Griffin: Uh-oh. [a bulldozer destroys the wall of the house coming in]
Bulldozer driver: Congratulations!
Lois Griffin: Okay, Peter, this is for the win. Say the word "what".
Peter Griffin: Oh...wow. Okay, um...this, uh, really separates the men from the boys. Uhhhh...
Lois Griffin: Peter, just say "what."
Peter Griffin: Ah, ah, ah, ah, now Lois, Lois, this is not a race. Um, okay I wanna say "who" ...uh, oh boy, uh... Fantastic Four... Fantastic Four, uh, steak, steak, steak, steak, uh, small amount of peas... um, is it "what"?
Lois Griffin: That's right. You win, Peter! You did it!
Peter Griffin: Oh my God, I won. I won!
Chris Griffin: My dad's smarter than your dad!
Meg Griffin: We have the same dad, idiot!
Chris Griffin: Yeah, but mine's smarter!
Lois Griffin: Okay, here we go. What color is a fire truck?
Peter Griffin: Ah, oh God, I always get these. Um, okay, uh, alright, fire truck...fire truck, fire truck, fire truck, fire truck, what color are those red fire trucks? Uh, oh God, I can picture 'em now, all red and everything...
