Peter Griffin: Husband, Father... Brother? Quotes
Peter Griffin: Hey Chris, what are you doing?
Chris Griffin: Just layin' back in the cot, peepin' at this here homie. Yo pops, let me have some cheddar. Some player hater be throwin' salt in my game and grillin' me over my gear, and I needs to be mackin' style.
Peter Griffin: Well, uh... the important thing is you tried, son.
Peter Griffin: W-w-wait, before you go, what's heaven like?
Nate Griffin: Oh, it's fine. There's a shortage of chairs.
Peter Griffin: Oh.
Nate Griffin: ...Yeah.
Peter Griffin: Hey, Lois, come in here and see what I did with the money your dad gave me.
Lois Griffin: [gasps] Oh, my God! You turned the den into Pee Wee's Playhouse?
Peter Griffin: [Singing] Come on, get up! Knock off your napping. It's a crazy, messed-up place where anything can happen. There's a chair that freakin' talks. Hey look! There's some fish that give advice. Holy crap! It's screwy, In Peter's Playhouse! Hehehe!
Lois Griffin: Peter...
Peter Griffin: W-w-wait. Watch this, watch this. Hey, Jambi! Okay, say it.
Brian Griffin: Mekka-lekka-hi, mekka-hiney... God, I hate you so much.
Lois Griffin: Peter, that reparation money should be going to a worthy black charity.
Peter Griffin: Lois, the king of cartoons will be here in 5 minutes and I will not have you embarrass me.
Lois Griffin: You're acting ridiculous! [Sirens begin wailing, "Ridiculous" flashes on-screen]
Peter Griffin: AAAHHH! You said the secret word!
Stewie Griffin [hiding in a locker]: They're getting nude! Oh, I musn't watch, it's not the proper thing to... Whoa! I say, nice ones, Janene. And look at Lisa and all of her curvaceous glory! Good heavens, it appears that my wee-wee has been stricken with rigor mortis!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 6th, 2007Stewie Griffin [to himself in mirror]: Ugh, look at how fat you are. You disgust me. Oink-oink, fatty! Oh, yes, yes, you'll take butter on that English muffin, won't you, because you're the cheerleading squad's token blimp! You don't deserve to eat!
• Vote for this Quote! • July 6th, 2007 Stewie Griffin: I think that would be a bad idea. And I know something about bad ideas.
[cutaway to Stewie sitting at a bar drunk with O.J. Simpson]
Stewie Griffin: I'm... I'm... I'm telling you, Juice! She's screwin' around behind your back, and if I were in your Bruno Maglis, I wouldn't stand for it. Another mai tai? Thanks. So, listen...
Brian Griffin: "The Diary of Nate Griffin". May 7th, 1836. I was brushing down Lucy, the new colt, when she let out a fart right near my face. So, I took her head and stuck it by my butt and blew a huge fart right back at her.
Peter Griffin: Hehehehehehe!
Brian Griffin: Oh, uh, that laugh's in here too, see? hehehehehehehe...
Osias Griffin: Hello?
Caller: Hello, Jonathan?
Osias Griffin: No. What number are you calling?
Caller: 7.
Osias Griffin: Well this is 3.
Caller: Oh. Sorry.
Chris Griffin: What's a Library, Dad?
Peter Griffin: Oh, it's just a place where homeless people come to shave and go BM.
Stewie Griffin [about the cheerleaders] They had us all completely under their spell, like that hypnotist at the airport Hilton...
[cutaway to the Hilton]
Hypnotyst: ...and, three!
Brian Griffin: Oh, wow. Were we just hypnotized?
Stewie Griffin: Oh, that's incredible, I don't remember a thing. Why do I taste crotch?
