PTV Quotes
Peter Griffin: Lois, there is absolutely nothing inappropriate about my programing.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 17th, 2007Glenn Quagmire: Welcome to Midnight Q. Tonight, we're going to enjoy the smooth jazz of Charles Mingus, Norman Mailer is here to read an excerpt from his latest book, and then we also have a girl from Omaha who's hiding a banana. We'll find out where. Giggity Giggity, Giggity Goo. Stick around.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 17th, 2007 Stewie Griffin (voiceover): "Cheeky Bastard" is filmed in front of a live studio audience. [Cut to a scene in the living room, where Stewie is sitting on the couch. Brian rushes in, wearing an apron and oven mitts]
Brian Griffin: Oh my God! Where's my roast pheasant?
Stewie Griffin: Hmm. By now, I think it's in my lower intestine. [canned laughter comprised of Stewie laughing]
Brian Griffin: You ate it? But I told you my boss was coming here for dinner!
Stewie Griffin: Well, unless he likes pork rinds, he's going home hungry. [the same canned laughter is heard again]
Brian Griffin: You cheeky bastard!
Lois Griffin: Peter, what are you doing? What is all this stuff?
Chris Griffin: Dad's starting his own TV station, but I'm not supposed to tell Mom because she's just gonna bitch him out.
Wile E. Coyote: Yeah, uh, I bought a giant life-sized slingshot from you, and it just slammed me into a mountain.
Peter Griffin: Sorry, no returns.
Wile E. Coyote: I've been a customer here for years.
Peter Griffin: I could maybe give you a store credit.
Wile E. Coyote: But I-- really? Well I guess--
Mrs. Coyote: What's the hold up in here?
Wile E. Coyote: I'm taking care of it!
Peter Griffin: You're on TV, Mr. Tucker, can't you do something about this?
Tom Tucker: Well, Peter, I'm flattered you came to me for help. We'll have more after this. [Tom walks off, and walks back on] Good evening, we're back.
Peter Griffin [on FCC censorship]: What the hell? They let Sarah Jessica Parker's face on TV, and she looks like a foot!
• Vote for this Quote! • July 17th, 2007 Peter Griffin: Man, this sucks worse than my 16th birthday party.
[cut to Peter's birthday]
Peter Griffin: Thanks for coming to my birthday party, Jake Ryan.
Jake Ryan: Thanks for having me at your birthday party, Peter...make a wish.
Peter Griffin: It's already come true.
Jake Ryan: Here's your present. [They lean in to kiss, but Jake knocks down Peter and the cake and rips off his shirt. He then jumps down and proceeds to rape Peter]
Peter Griffin: No, Jake, not like this!
Lois Griffin: You like eating red carpet, tough guy?!
Peter Griffin [in pain]: YES!
Lois Griffin (off-screen): Say you like eating red carpet!
Peter Griffin (off-screen): I LIKE EATING RED CARPET!
