Ready, Willing and Disabled Quotes
Peter Griffin: Say, uh, what happened to the car wash thief?
Joe Swanson: Ironically, I severed his spine when I landed on him.
Peter Griffin: Well, looks like you got more competition at next year's games, huh?
Joe Swanson: Nope. He's dead.
Peter Griffin: Just don't forget our deal, Lois. I sit through this, and later tonight I get anal. You hear me? No matter how neat I want the house, you have to clean it.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 6th, 2007 Stewie Griffin: Now, fess up, or I'll do to you what I did to John Lennon.
[cut to Stewie introducing John Lennon to Yoko Ono]
Stewie Griffin: John, have you met Yoko? Yoko, John?
Stewie Griffin: Ah, Dostoevsky. The Mad Russian. Good stuff, good stuff.
Brian Griffin: You're not gonna get the $26 and you're despicable for trying.
Stewie Griffin: What ...oh, oh, you thought... I wasn't trying to get the $26. I thought we were just having a perfectly innocent conversation about literature. Oh you're silly, you're silly... I... I love that you'd go there. You're... you're silly. Good-bye!
Tom Tucker: Today, we'll see some of Quahog's finest athletes struggle valiantly against God's twisted designs. You'll cheer, you'll cry, you might even get a cheap laugh or two.
Diane Simmons: I know I will, Tom. In fact, there's the distinct possibility that by the end of the day we'll all be going to Hell.
Tom Tucker: I'll see you there, Diane.
Stewie Griffin: A picture of Meg in a two-piece swimsuit...Oh, God, I pray this is not my first memory!
• Vote for this Quote! • July 6th, 2007Tom Tucker: Coming up in this half hour, our undercover exposé on conveniently-placed news reports in television shows. But first, Peter, look out for that skateboard.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 6th, 2007Cleveland Brown: Here's to Joe, who helped little Paul get a new liver and, barring a massive infection, a new lease on life.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 6th, 2007
