Saving Private Brian Quotes
Lois Griffin: What the hell? Marilyn Manson? Is that who's causing all this?
Peter Griffin: Yeah, it's all him or her's fault. Who does he or she think he or she is? Look, you can totally see his or her nipples. That's obscene, maybe.
Lois Griffin: There's only one thing to do.
Peter Griffin: You're right. We got to find this Marilyn Manson and I got to give that bastard or bitch a piece of my mind or penis.
Stewie Griffin: All right, you can do this, Brian. Come on, pray with me. Dear Lord... just stay out of our way. Okay, good luck.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 24th, 2007Stewie Grifin: You can't leave, man, that's Desertion. They'll come after you like Peter went after that hockey coach. [pause, but there's no cut away]
Stewie Grifin: Oh, no clip? Oh, thought we had a clip. Nope? Okay. Uh-uh, you can't leave, Brian...
Chris Griffin: Mayor West?
Mayor Adam West: Quiet, young man, can't you see we're having a poker game? Now, I'll ask again. If I order a pizza, will anyone else have some?
Mark: I might have a slice.
Mayor Adam West: Well, you know, I'm going to need more of a commitment than that, Mark.
Army Recruiter: Congratulations, you are both in the army.
Brian Griffin: We're both in... what? That's ridiculous!
Vaudeville Dancer Vern: I'll tell you what's ridiculous... the Kaiser. Somebody should put him on a roll.
Brian Griffin: It's just wrong for the military to mess with kids' minds. They're all gonna wind up in therapy, like Peter was.
[cut to Dr. Katz's office; Peter is on the couch]
Peter Griffin: Every time my daughter opens her mouth, I just wanna punch her in the face, she's really annoying.
Dr. Katz: Uh-huh, all right, let's explore that.
Peter Griffin: What the hell's wrong with you? Your skin's, like, moving around or something.
Dr. Katz: I believe I'm having some sort of seizure.
Brian Griffin: I can't believe they're brainwashing kids like Chris to serve in the military.
Stewie Griffin: Ah, yes. The bottom 10 percent of our high school class is off to fight another battle.
Brian Griffin: You stole that from The Onion.
Stewie Griffin: What?
Brian Griffin: You stole that. I... read that in The Onion. About the war in Iraq.
Stewie Griffin: Well, if that's true, then I'd say they've got some sharp cookies over at the, uh... what is it again? The Onion?
Brian Griffin: So, if I go up to your room right now, I'm not going to find a copy of The Onion, right?
Stewie Griffin: No. [Tries to run, but slips on his food and falls off his high chair] OW!!! DAMN IT!!!
Brian Griffin: That's what I thought.
Lois Griffin: Chris, you can't join the Army, you're too young. Besides, the Army's weak. Now the Marines... those are the men you wanna f**k.
Peter Griffin: Are you kidding, Lois? The army's great! You get to save money for college, there's free food, and all the brown people you can rape.
Announcer: The U.S. Army... Awwww, YEEAHHH! Note: Your experience may differ.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 24th, 2007
