Sibling Rivalry Quotes
Chris Griffin: Hey, doc, what did you do with my mom's fat?
Dr. Hartman: Well, we stored it all in this storage room. [opens up a closet to show Peter with his pants off kissing a bag of fat]
Peter Griffin: Uhhhh, it's exactly what it looks like.
Peter Griffin: [feeding Lois] I want you bigger! I want you fatter! It will please me...
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 18th, 2007 Peter Griffin: Lois, last night was amazing.
Lois Griffin: It was, wasn't it?
Peter Griffin: Fat sex is the hottest sex we've ever had. There were so many boobs, I didn't know whose boobs I was grabbing; your boobs or my boobs.
Lois Griffin: Peter, stop it! For God's sakes, you're embarrassing me!
Peter Griffin: Not as embarrassed as I was when I got that job entertaining prison inmates.
[cut to Peter in a prison yard without his shirt on]
Bald Prisoner: Do it again, Griffin!
Peter Griffin: Aw, come on! I just did it like five times...
Mustached Prisoner: Do it!
Peter Griffin: [singing, dancing, holding boobs together] Myyyy milkshake bring all the boys to the yard, and they're like, it's better than yours, damn right, it's better than yours, I can teach you but I have to char-r-r-rge!
Peter Griffin: I mean, you wouldn't have sex with Lois would ya?
Brian Griffin: Oh yeah, I would.
Peter Griffin: Really?
Brian Griffin: Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I would do everything to her, I don't care what she looks like. I would wreck that chick.
Peter Griffin: Well, you are a trooper.
Peter Griffin: And, uh, just so you know, everything in there is exactly the way it was when I went in. There is absolutely zero chance that I spilled all the jars and had to refill them with my own sperm. Zero chance.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 18th, 2007 Boy: No! Jungle gym mine!
Stewie Griffin: Hey, where'd you get the Pete Rose haircut?
Peter Griffin: Yeah, but what if me and Lois do end up wanting another baby? It'll be too late.
Cleveland Brown: You could freeze some of your sperm at the sperm bank, just in case.
Peter Griffin: I don't know, Cleveland. It didn't work out so great that time I froze my nuts.
[cut away to Ice Age]
Peter Griffin: No! No! Bad squirrel! Those are MY nuts! My nuts! Ah... you're just a hungry little fella, aren't you? But those are MY nuts!
Lois Griffin: Oh, God, I can't believe we weren't more careful! This probably happened that night we tried role-playing.
[cutaway Peter in bed as Lois walks toward him]
Lois Griffin: Ooh, I need a spanking. I'm a bad, bad girl.
Peter Griffin: I'm a paladin with 18 charisma and 97 hit points. I can use my Helm of Disintegration and do 1D4 damage as my Half-Elf Mage wields his +5 Holy Avenger.
Lois Griffin: Paladins can't use the Helm of Disintegration!
Peter Griffin: Oh? Okay. Then I'm a black guy.
Lois Griffin: Okay, one more minute, and then if there are two pink lines...
Peter Griffin: Oh, God, I hope you're not pregnant. We can't afford another kid. We already got Chris, Stewie, Richie, Joanie, Greg, Marcia, Bobby, Jan, Mike Seaver, Carol Seaver, Boner, Urkel, Mr. Furley...
Brian Griffin: Peter, those aren't your kids. That's the Nick at Nite lineup.
Peter Griffin: ...Blanka, Zangief, Chun-Li, Guile, E. Honda...
Brian Griffin: That's Street Fighter.
Peter Griffin: ... red, blue, green...
Brian Griffin: Those are colors.