Stu and Stewie's Excellent Adventure Quotes
Peter Griffin: What? I thought you could just go in the suit. You know, like the astronauts.
[cut to Quahog Fire Station No. 5. A man holds up a fireman suit with another wet spot on the crotch]
Peter Griffin: What? I thought you could just go in the suit. You know, like the astronauts.
[cut to Outer Space, where Peter and another man are floating]
Peter Griffin: Hey, uh, I gotta take a leak.
Man: Peter, if you open that suit, you'll die.
Peter Griffin: Right, right. What are you trying to do, get me fired?
Joe Swanson: Who wears short shorts? I WEAR SHORT SHORTS!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 19th, 2007 Stu Griffin: We'll have to borrow the money from Mommy and Daddy. [Stewie grabs him by the eyelids]
Stewie Griffin: Never call them that again! It's Lois and the Fat Man! Do you hear me?
Stu Griffin: Yes, yes! [Stewie sniffis his hair]
Stewie Griffin: Smells like Head & Shoulders. But you don't have dandruff.
Stu Griffin: Exactly.
Stewie Griffin: Ahhh.
Stewie Griffin: [to his older self] You listen to me, Stewart Griffin! You march in there right now and... [reading from The Joy of Sex] "insert your phal-lus into her vag-in-a." Go!
• Vote for this Quote! • July 19th, 2007 Stewie Griffin: All right, we've got a big day of overhauling your life ahead. First, we've got to fix up this apartment and ... stop that.
Stu Griffin: What?
Stewie Griffin: Why are you staring at my genitals?
Stu Griffin: Well, look, I'm not allowed to tell you anything about your own future, but I will say this: Enjoy your left testicle while you can.
Stewie Griffin: What?!
Stu Griffin: I've said too much.
Stewie Griffin: Don't be coy, you dirty horndog. You're humpinh Fran. Tell me, how many times have we gotten into those Lane Bryant stretchpants?
Stu Griffin: What? Never!
Stewie Griffin: Damn right, never... what do you mean, "never" ?
Stu Griffin: Stewie, I've never slept with any woman. I've never had sex. [pause, then Stewie smacks him]
Stewie Griffin: All right, that's it! I could handle the crappy apartment and the pedestrian job, but now you're telling me I'm a 35-year-old Parade magazine reading virgin?! Well, you, sir, are pathetic! So forget about sending me back, because I'm not leaving until we do a complete overhaul on this sad thing you call "our life"!
Stu Griffin: Can I still read Parade?
Stewie Griffin: NO, YOU CANNOT STILL READ PARADE!
Chris Griffin: Well, I can't do it to them. They're my parents.
Vanessa: Don't you ever wanna inherit this house, you fat f**k? Or am I the only one who has any desire to move out from under the f**king power lines? What's that? Oh, it's Cancer!
Chris Griffin: Can we please not do this in front of Pablo?
Stewie Griffin [upon seeing Lois in the future]: She's still alive?! What the hell, man?!
• Vote for this Quote! • July 19th, 2007
