Stuck Together, Torn Apart Quotes
Glenn Quagmire: Hey, how about a couple of drinks?
Waiter: Certainly, sir. Martini for you and the usual roofie colada for your date?
Glenn Quagmire: No, no, no, uh, no, uh... glass of wine.
Jennifer Love Hewitt: I Know What You Did Last Summer?
Peter Griffin: No, never heard of it.
Jennifer Love Hewitt: The Devil and Daniel Webster?
Peter Griffin: Nope.
Jennifer Love Hewitt: Party of Five?
Peter Griffin: Was that a porno?
Midget Woman: HELP ME!!
Stewie Griffin: It rubs the lotion on its skin or else gets the hose again! HA!!
Lois Griffin: Hello?
Glenn Quagmire: Hey, Lois. Is Peter there?
Lois Griffin: Oh, hi, Quagmire. No, Peter's not home. We're, uh... we're having some minor marital problems. Our therapist has advised us to date other people.
Glenn Quagmire: Hey, Lois, you want to go out?
Lois Griffin: What? well, I don't know, Glenn. Peter and I just separated. I feel like I need more time.
Quagmire: How about now?
Peter Griffin: Aw, I don't know, Lois. Splittin' up didn't work too well for Pac-Man and his wife.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 9th, 2007 Peter Griffin: You want to know what my problem is? You want to know what my problem is?! I LOVE TOO MUCH!
Lois Griffin: Peter, what are you talking about?
Peter Griffin: Don't you see, Lois? We're alive!
Lois Griffin: Peter, you're scaring me.
Peter Griffin: Good! Embrace the fear.
Stewie Griffin: Well, let's see, what takes an hour? We could watch Rita Rudner do five minutes of stand-up.
Brian Griffin [uninterested]: Ba-zing.
Peter Griffin: I saw you and him the other day, breaking the Fifth Commandment! Congress passes these things for a reason, Lois.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 9th, 2007 Police officer: Why are you holding that infant's hand?
Stewie Griffin: Oh, we met on the Internet.
Brian Griffin: Shut up!
Stewie Griffin: Yes, he lured me down to the park with promises of candy and funny stories.
Glenn Quagmire: Damn, this itches! I wonder who I gave it to me. Probably that skank who needed a ride to the gas station. Last time I do somebody a favor. Oh God! They must have heard me! Oh god! I can hear me!
• Vote for this Quote! • July 9th, 2007
