The Father, the Son, and the Holy Fonz Quotes
Brian Griffin: Sometimes opposites work well together. In fact, Peter taught me that.
[cut to the music video for Paula Abdul's "Opposites Attract" but with Peter with makeup and cat ears]
Paula Abdul: Two steps forward,
Peter Griffin: I take two steps back...
Paula Abdul: We come together
Peter Griffin: 'cause I'm dressed like a cat.
Paula Abdul: And you know, it ain't fiction,
Peter Griffin: Just a natural fact...
Paula Abdul: We come together,
Peter Griffin: 'cause I'm dressed like a cat.
Peter Griffin: But Dad, you're the one who said I should look into my heart to find my religion.
Francis Griffin: Yes, real religion! What I saw today wasn't religion, it was just a bunch of sheep, singing songs and listening to ridiculous tall tales.
Brian Griffin: Actually, that is religion.
Francis Griffin: Shut your trap, Brian!
Stewie Griffin: Ha! you tell him!
Peter Griffin: Please rise.[everyone stands] Now sit on it. [they sit] The Fonz be with you.
Churchgoers: And also with you.
Peter Griffin: Let us ayyyyyy.
Churchgoers: Ayyyyyy.
Stewie Griffin: Hey! finish the job, idiot! For God's sake, there's no ventilation! It smells like Brian Dennehey in here!
Brian Griffin: I see London, I see France, I see Stewie's unsightly, chaffed ass.
Stewie Griffin: Hey Gaybo. [points to his eyes] I'm up here, up here.
Diane Simmons: Also in the news, some trouble at Saint Phillips church.
Tom Tucker: That's right, Diane, a shipment of tainted holy water could put some local babies in jeopardy.
Diane Simmons: Sounds dangerous, Tom. Be careful next time you're at confession telling the priest about cheating on your wife with that Filipino drag queen.
Tom Tucker: Well, at least you're in no danger, Diane, since you only visit church to leave your self delivered, unwashed, half-dead newborns on the back step. Coming up, how to turn your unwanted change into foldin' money.
Stewie Griffin: Don't... don't take me to a black doctor...
• Rating 4.4 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 18th, 2007 Announcer: And now back to "Jaws V: Fire Island"
Mark: You think we should be this far out?
Another Gay Guy: Stop worrying Mark, we'll be fine!
Jaws: Hey, I'm gonna eat y'all. I'm gonna eat that hairy leg. I'm gonna eat that one, too. Oh, I can see right up them shorts! I got a whole bunch of rows of teeth to chew you with. Duh-nuh-duh-nuh-duh-nuh. Oh, now wait a minute, I did have a chubby kid on a raft earlier today. It's okay though, I've been swimming a lot lately. [chomp] Mmm, yummy. Mmm.
Brian Griffin: You... you really think splashing "magic water" on Stewie will keep him out of Hell?
Francis Griffin: Watch that kind of talk or you'll get your heathen head smacked!
Brian Griffin: Oh, that's very Christian: Believe what I say or I'll hurt you.
Francis Griffin: Now you're getting it!
Chris Griffin: I love you, Grandpa. Your toenails are the same color as my school-bus.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 18th, 2007