The Tan Aquatic with Steve Zissou Quotes
Stewie Griffin: There's one more thing I need you to do before I die. Write down my final thoughts.
Brian Griffin: Oh, come on!
Stewie Giffin: I... don't have much time. Oh, squiggly line in my eye fluid, I see you there, lurking on the periphery of my vision. But when I try to look at you, you scurry away. Are you shy, squiggly line? Why only when I ignore you do you return to the center of my eye? Oh, squiggly line, it's all right. You are forgiven.
Brian Griffin: [answers phone] Hello? Hi, Dr. Hartman. All right, I'll tell him. Thanks, bye. [hangs up] You don't have cancer, you're gonna be fine.
Stewie Griffin: Really? Oh, thank God! Oh, thank God! Wait, wait. Look, there's no reason we can't finish the memoir anyway. Let's see what you've got so far. [All that is on the pad is a drawing of Brian hanging himself from a tree branch] Oh, you are just the worst type of person.
Lois Griffin: Peter, you get down from that tree this instant!
Peter Griffin: No! You're gonna yell at me!
Lois Griffin: You're damn right I'm gonna yell at you. You beat up a thirteen-year-old boy!
Peter Griffin: He called me names!
Lois Griffin: You're 43, and you just assaulted our neighbor's child. This is a very serious situation!
Peter Griffin: Well, maybe you shoulda just had an abortion, Lois. Would that make you happy if I was never born?!
Lois Griffin: What?!
Peter Griffin: I'm going to prison, aren't I?
Brian Griffin: Devon, do you have a cigarette?
Devon: Sure. And here's a copy of my last movie. It's essentially Brokeback Mountain from the point of view of the horses.
[cuta to Brokeback Mountain, where two horses stand outside the tent where the men are sleeping]
Brown Horse: Hey, the sun's been up for an hour. Shouldn't we get riding?
Tan Horse: Uh, are they still sleeping?
Brown horse: I don't know, I'll check. AAAHHH! EWWWW! AAAHHH! RUN!
Tan Horse: What? W-what is it? What is it? What?
Brown Horse: OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! RUN.
Lois Griffin: Stewie, what is that on your lip?
Stewie Griffin: I drew a pencil mustache. I like it 'cause it's just above my lip. The kind of mustache that says, "Yeah, I've been nude on camera, what of it?"
Herbert: Boys, boys, we can settle this like reasonable and sexy teenagers. Whoever can swallow the most Tylenol PM wins!
• Rating 4.2 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 25th, 2007 Brian Griffin: My God, look at you.
Stewie Griffin: Oh, look at my complexion, Brian. I am hot! I'll be getting more sex than that Wisconsin nympho who used to live upstairs.
[cut to Stewie trying to sleep in his room, with the nympho woman having loud sex]
Nympho Woman: Oh God. Oh God! Oh crap! Oh crap! Oh crap! Oh crap!! Crap!! Crap!!! CRAP!!!! Oh, crap...
Lois Griffin: Peter, this is more irresponsible than when you fed your mogwai after midnight.
[cut to Peter about to feed a creature chicken]
Lois Griffin: Peter, didn't the little Chinese man tell you not to feed him after midnight?
Peter Griffin: Aw, come on, Lois, he's so cute. And he's hungry. What could happen? [He feeds him the chicken and the mogwai transforms into Fran Drescher]
Fran Drescher: Hello! I'm Fran Drescher!
Peter Griffin: AHH! KILL IT!
Herbert: Mmm. What's goin' on in my pants? Looks like we got six more weeks of winter!
• Rating 4.7 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 25th, 2007 Glenn Quagmire [after a bad shot]: GODDAMN IT! COME ON! COME ON! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! COME ON, GLENN! COME ON, GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GODDAMN GAME!
Joe Swanson: Hey, do you think it's time to talk to Quagmire about his anger issues with this game?
Cleveland Brown: A white man shouldn't play sports in the first place.
Peter Griffin: [golfing] Hey, uh, Joe?
Joe Swanson: Oh, don't say it, Peter...
Peter Griffin: No, I was just wonderin', uh...
Joe Swanson: Peter, I swear to God ...
Peter Griffin: What's your handicap?
Joe Swanson: OH, HO HO! OH... EVERY HOLE! THAT'S A JOKE THAT JUST DOESN'T GET OLD!!