To Love and Die in Dixie Quotes (Page 2)

Tricia Takanawa

Peter Griffin: The Deep South? Isn't that the place where all the black guys are really lazy and the white guys are just as lazy, but they're mad at the black guys for being so lazy?

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 6th, 2007


Stewie Griffin: Good Lord! Can they really say "bang my girlfriend" on TV?

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 6th, 2007


Peter Griffin [at the police station]: Hi, uh, excuse me, you guys. Yeah, I'm here to pick up my son, Chris Griffin. Uh, he's here to finger the guy who held up that convenience store. M-maybe you've seen him, his name is Chris Griffin. Oh, wait a second, y'know, I think I got a picture of him, somewhere... h-here you go. [gives the picture to the one who robbed the store] Yeah, you can go ahead and hang on to that, I got a ton of 'em at home. In fact, I was gonna throw that one out anyway 'cause Chris messed it up by writing his school schedule and a list of his fears all over the back of it.

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 6th, 2007


Robber: This is a holdup! Open the register!
Cashier: I can't! It only opens when you make a sale!
Robber: Alright, then give me one of them horoscope scrolls. And, some Skittles. [reading scroll] "Financial transaction benefits you today." Oooh.
Cashier: Weeird.

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 6th, 2007


Herbert the Creepy Old Pedophile: You like Popsicles?
Chris Griffin: Well, sure.
Herbert: Then you need to come on down to my basement. I got a whole freezer full of popsicles. Mmmm!
Chris Griffin: No thanks. I gotta get going.
Herbert: Oh, don't make me beg, now.
Chris Griffin: Ha, ha, ha! You're funny. Bye!
Herbert: Get your fat ass back here...

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 6th, 2007



Chris Griffin: What kind of gifts have boys gotten for you, Meg?
Meg Griffin: Oh! Well, my boyfriend, Prince Willam, got this beautiful watch, and this diamond tiara, and this wonderful scepter!
Stewie Griffin: She needs to get laid, big time

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 6th, 2007


Barbara: I'm having a birthday party next week. I was hoping you could come. [She hands Chris an invitation]
Chris Griffin: Oh, no! Someone peed in my pants!

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 6th, 2007


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Total Quotes: 17