When You Wish Upon a Weinstein Quotes
Lois Griffin: Now I don't want to hear another word about this.
Peter Griffin: [in sign language] She won't have to hear another word, because we've mastered American sign language!
Chris Griffin: [in sign language] Ha ha ha!
Lois Griiffin: You'll have to excuse Peter, he can be a little tactless sometimes.
Brian Griffin: Yes, like the time he soiled himself at that dinner party?
[cut to Peter and Lois' dinner party. Peter sits with a blank look on his face]
Lois Griffin: I was so sorry to hear that your father passed away.
Woman: Yes. It spread through his body so fast, but, he's at peace now, and the whole f-
Peter Griffin: UH-OH!
Peter Griffin: Wait a second. Rosenblatt? Greenstein? So you're saying I need a Jewish guy to handle my money?
Cleveland Brown: Peter, not every Jewish person is good with money.
Peter Griffin: Well, yeah, I guess not the retarded ones, but-but why would you even say that? For shock value? Jeez, Cleveland, there's "edgy" and there's "offensive." Good day, sir!
Cleveland Brown: She's got a point, Peter. You're the white version of a black guy who's not good with his money.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 9th, 2007Peter Griffin: You better watch who you're calling a child, Lois, because if I'm a child, then you know what that makes you? A pedophile. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna stand here and be lectured by a pervert.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 9th, 2007 Lois Griffin: I can't believe you squandered that money! I swear, sometimes I feel like I'm married to a child.
[cut Peter and Lois' wedding]
Peter Griffin: [pointing at her breasts, then her crotch] What can I say about my beautiful bride except... milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner, fudge is made!
Peter Griffin: Lois, no one really needs glasses.
Meg Griffin: You wear glasses.
Peter Griffin: That's only to fool the man from the draft board.
Stewie Griffin: Yes, and in the meantime, here's a little vision test. What is this? A poopie or a toblerone?
• Rating 4.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 9th, 2007 Chris Griffin: Dad, can you help me with my Math? Mr Shackleford says if I don't learn it, I won't be able to function in the real world.
[cut to Chris asking a man for directions]
Man: Okay, now what you gotta do is go down the road past the old Johnson place, then you're gonna find two roads; one parallel and one perpendicular. Now keep going until you come to a highway that bisects it at a 45-degree angle. Solve for X.
[cut to Chris in fetal position sucking his thumb]
Peter Griffin: Math! Math, my dear boy, is but the lesbian sister of Biology.
