Whistle While Your Wife Works Quotes
Stewie Griffin: [singing, to the tune of Gary Numan's "Cars"]:
Brian had sex...
With a really dumb girl...
Now he's taking his friend Stewie...
To get some ice cream...
In his car...
Stewie Griffin [half-asleep]: Huh? Mmm... What the hell? It took you three hours to break up with her?
Brian Griffin: Uh... not exactly.
Stewie Griffin: Well, what were you doing in there? What's that smell? Smells like sweat and anger and shame.
Brian Griffin: Yep.
Stewie Griffin: Dude, that was painful.
Brian Griffin: What are you doing here? Did you follow us?
Stewie Griffin:Brian, why can't you just admit what's going on here?
Brian Griffin: Okay, okay. Fine. Fine. I'm gonna have to break it off. But, boy, it's gonna be tougher than the reviews for Our American Cousin.
[Cut to backstage where the cast read the newspaper]
Man: Blah, blah, blah, "Lincoln assassinated," blah, blah, blah, "Tragedy for our Republic." Uh... oh, look! "Ably performed by the entire ensemble."
Other Actors: That's us! That's all of us!
Stewie Griffin: So, Jillian, what are your views regarding Homeland Security? Do you think we should support what the president is doing?
Jillian: Well, I just think, for starters, that sometimes the government has things they can't tell us, and "truthishly", we should just accept that.
Brian Griffin: Okay, good night, everyone.
Stewie Griffin: Oh, say, Jillian, before you go, I forget: Do you know what the capital of this state is?
Jillian: Um, Rhode Island City?
Stewie Griffin: It's like she's f**king five!
Jillian: Hey, you wanna know something cool? I threw up a lot in high school, so I don't get my period anymore!
Lois Griffin: Wow, this is the one you've been waiting for, huh, Brian?
Stewie Griffin: No, I want to know, Brian. What specifically do you talk about?
Brian Griffin: Uh, a lot of things, Um... food, um... the new seat covers she just got for her Jetta, um... Real World / Road Rules Challenge...
Stewie Griffin: You hate MTV!
Brian Griffin: Pot helps.
Stewie Griffin: Now, why in the world would you be embarrassed about dating her?
Jillian: Oh, my God, Brian, I was watching something on TV about this guy named Hitler... somebody should stop him!
Stewie Griffin: Is she retarded?
Stewie Griffin: When do I get to meet her? [Jillian]
Brian Griffin: No, no. No way.
Stewie Griffin: Oh, I see, I get it ... she's hideous.
Brian Griffin: She is not hideous.
Stewie Griffin: Oh, well, let me ask you something: Does she have an alibi?
Brian Griffin: For what? Why would she need an alibi?
Stewie Griffin: So, you're saying she does not have an alibi?
Brian Griffin: Well, no.
Stewie Griffin: Okay, so, we've established [sings] she ain't got no alibi, she UGLY! She UGLY! [dances] U-G-L-Y, she ain't got no alibi, she UGLY!
Brian Griffin: Screw off!
Peter Griffin: Ah! Ow! Damn it!
Lois Griffin: Peter, are you all right?
Peter Griffin: No, no, I think you should call somebody.
Brian Griffin: Ma'am, are you all right?
Backup Dancer: I can't... breathe.
Brian Griffin: Oh, God, I think she punctured a lung.
Peter Griffin: Ah, damn it, look at my foot. It's already starting to swell up. God, I'm looking forward to this week. Freakin' swelled foot all week.
Stewie Griffin [to camera]: You know, we should... we should, you should, probably go ahead and shut that off.
